KILL ME LA SIAK
RAFIEE IS AN IDIOT!!!

AAHAHHAHAA

its a saturday.
nobodys home on a saturday.
i wonder what double u and little miss kental are doing.

u know what?
i miss my friends.
i think i shall organize a lil bbq thing next month.
i shall invite everybody who knows me
friends from secondary, ite, poly, and borders colleagues.
thats how much i miss them.

quizzes are next week.
im gonna flunk at least two of them.
oh please god please me not lazy.

my underpits are in need of a good scratching.

curse thee heavens for i have paid
a heavy price for the things ive said

fuel. i need fuel. fuel for conversations. conversations. talking. topics. i wish i was in the center of the universe with a huge miked up telescope focused on this little gap between my nose and my chin. then maybe ill finally get an audience. the audience at youth park was fun. everybody ran on stage during force vomits encore. dancing and dancing the night away. but in the midst of it all. there she was. green. big round eyes. oh how joyful it was around to be her presence jumping around singing "dont give up. SITI dont give up!" the world could end just there and i would feel as though my objective in life is complete. oh my. i need that fuel.

resolutions. is it too late? i dont think so. maybe i should just stop making resolutions seeing as how none of it is ever achieved. maybe i should just stop looking for love. maybe i should just stop school. maybe i should just go back to the army. maybe maybe i dont know. im reading a book called the gum thief. it is a really great piece of literature. maybe you all should read it. and maybe den we all could get lost in the maze of words that patronize this little white book. white is my favourite colour. white is the colour of the clouds. yes those evil things that float above us in the sky. i think somehow or other that theyre silently mocking us and toying with us. mother nature is so beautiful. i was thinking the other day that maybe maybe maybe if the world would stop spinning ill have my own time, hanging on to a piece of driftwood somewhere in the pacific ocean. and maybe den i would start appreciating whatever i have now. i need to read more books. books help me indulge in my favourite past time. daydreaming. i love dreaming of being lost. its like closing your eyes and listening to eisley. oh how i wish i was lost at sea. bats with butterfly wings flying over my head. i love that picture. i think im gonna sketch it out. im gonna call it..... lost? speaking of lost i hate losing my connection. this nadirah girl is nice enough to give me a good connection. hallo miss i hope i bump into you one day. maybe well be friends. maybe i would get nabbed by the police. maybe nothing would happen. thats the story of my life. nothing ever happens. i need something infinately interesting. incubus is coming. that would be great. i cant wait. i cant wait for my cough medicine to kick in. i love feeling drowsy. i love many things. but i dont feel loved. love doesnt exist. ive given up. maybe maybe maybe one day ill finally learn the meaning of it but for now the drugs are taking me somewhere. so i shall say goodbye. 2008. same shit. different year.

hello blog.

life is becoming more and more whatever.

bye.

ok kids for photos visit tornpaperwalls

as for the story of my life?
will update soon.

its hari raya haji and im not feeling festive at all.

lets recap the past few days

friday:chalet
chalet was fun.
well i had fun. i missed wini and aliza so it was a joy to be around them dat night. had as much fun hanging ard aisyah, siti and erfa too the 3 girls that got me through ite life. it wass all ciggies and non-alcoholic booze and photos and stuff. oh fark i miss those ite times.

sat: rp
in probably one of the most random things i have ever done, i went to rp to catch fatys dance alone. after unsuccessfully tryin to convince iskandar to accompany me. so yeah. in the theater i was wondering what the fuck im doing there. but when the show actually started i was surprised i didnt fall asleep. it was abstract and surreal and i enjoyed it in the end. took her to dinner, got lost several times and sent her home. the things people do for someone they like.

PUSSY WHIPPED.

sunday: work
work was as usual. one word sums it up. wirda. k go.

monday:ecp
nothing to do eveybody was busy. dad didnt work so asked muni out to go driving. ended at vivo, windowshopped and saw a shitload of cool jackets everywhere. resisted temptation to buy cause everyone one of them was like $100++ so after dat metup with debbie and her friend. and ended up chilling by the beach at east coast park.
had alot fun.

tuesday: gym
ive never felt so tired in such a long time. but th feeling afterwards was great. nothing like a good workut.

today: city hall.
faty wanted help with her camera so i went all the way to millenia walk just to teach her and stuff. hng out with her starbucks friends for awhile. den i started to feel lost in the conversation of two 17 year old girls, so i left before the thoughts of killing myself out of boredom started to surface.

HAISH.
i just want the holidays to end so i can go back to my routine.
i miss school.

cheers

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERRI DUPREE LOVE OF MY LIFE/BEST SINGER-GUITARIST IN THE WORLD

i am shagged to the power 10000.
school and work is taking its toll.

But its all good.
and im not particularly complaining about it.
working at borders is extremely fun.
and my tp classmates are a dream.

the only thing that worries me though is that i am lagging behind in my studies.
which reminds me, term tests are coming.
dig dig dig
mug mug mug.
u can do it rafiee!!!

The only bright thing i see out of it all is a much needed two weeks break.

ok back to my wrtoral project.

i am so mentally and physically exhausted.

argh!!!

i recreated my friendster just for the sake of my lovely classmates
and i cant get over how stupid it still is.

today was officially the first day that i started to really understand about logic gates and matrices and equation whatever.
good thing cause quizes start next week.
and after hearing mustafa's lecture on future oppurtunities, i am determined as ever to get this dumb diploma.

the parents finally know i inhale smoke as a pastime.
my mum looks really affected by it.
but they haven really said anything.
waiting for the right time i guess.
and whats with parents opening up your letters.

its sunday
soccer cancelled again!!!!!
what do i have to do to kick a ball nowadays dammit.
gonna have to go and do some hard studying now.
family is off to jurong bird park for family day.
maybe i should have gone.

ive never felt so tired in such a long time.
buttttt i feel so damn satisfied.

working at borders has been a joy so far.
the managers are nice.
and from the looks of it, colleagues are awesome as well.
one particular 'genit' girl especially. :P
but den again its early days.

took a look at my schedule next week.
will be reaching home late almost everyday.
term tests are coming.
hope i can pull through.

anyway favourite band and song of the week.

me and is went driving around cause i was so bored.
used up nearly $20 in petrol.
but at least im more knowledgeable now.
hope i dun forget how to get around in the future.

i hate the feeling of being empty and alone.
kesepian. kesunyian.
i miss sleeping besides my friends in those bunks.
i miss talking to people and laughing untill 3am in the morning.
how i miss those times.
lonelylonelylonely

jon chan said it beautifully.

"someone to have
someone to find
someone to share your peace of mind
someone to have
someone to hold
someone to say yes and to say no"

anyways i passsed my first ever quiz in tp!!!
hoooooooray for that.
it actually gives me hope and inspiration for the next 3 yeaars of this life..
i really need to dig in.
but i cant seem to.

DISTRACTIONS DISTRACTIONS DISTRACTIONS.

"Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten..."

patience, patience

soccer cancelled again.
thank you all for being such bitches.

made my first borders money today.
and i earned it by listening to the manager ramblin on and on abt store policies.
but hey free food and cute chicks.
im enjoyin my new job very much.


anyways call me slow, but jimmy eat worlds new album just kicks ass so much.

anyways i donno how im going to do it but i am hoping to just really remove all the distractions from my life.
even though i hate what im studying now, bo pien bo pien must get that that diploma.
for the sake of my not so bright future.
i need to dig deep.
endure endure endure.

school, band, work.
priorities.


the best lesbian band ever.

shutterbug.
cool band name or what.

argh im so behind in schoolwork its not even funny anymore.
and with the added responsibilty of having a part time job in the horizon.
i am so in deep.
and yes.
underedge is officially dead.
thx for the memories. rashid,syadie,dan,zura.
i had fun.
me and zack will be going gruesome twosome from now on.
and maybe just maybe hopefully zura may join us in the quest for musical greatness.
o well

heres an awesome twosome.

best band in the world.
period.

i hate school.......

Interpol is the most fucken cool looking band ever.r.
and the voice is also the most fucken cool sounding eve.r.

seletar dam was dam fun indeed.
dan made me laugh untill my stomach change into muscle.
i miss those ue days with him.

look in my lj for pics

anyways if it aint really obvious
the whole experience with the seletar damn kids thought me something obvious.
that.

love? dont need it.
friends? need plenty of it.

"ifs it not too late for coffee.
than ill be there in ten"