all i can say is HEH!
hanna where are you?
HEH with me!!
this has been a nonsensical entry. thank you for visiting.
have a nice day.MuackZ!
:)
Friday, June 04, 2004
Thursday, June 03, 2004
i tink its about time i got a new layout.
Im tired and i absolutely mean it. my neck is hurting and my feet are giving way. would have gone back to sleep but i have to go to work in 15 mins.
so yeah blergh.
i have to work on friday which sucks cause i tot had already asked for an off on fridays. but o well nvm. just one more day of work before i can juz chill out on saturday.
and 4 straight days on the pirate ship.
argh!!
stress
aku penat aku penat!!!
anyways last night was great at work. earlier in the day my manager, 'datok mashoor' and the guys were telling ghost stories in the briefin time. and apparently one of my colleagues had sighted one the night before. she was at the go kart trek's when she saw a person running ard. so she chased thinking it was a guest.
well she saw and she ran. they wouldnt tell me anything more.
so yeah pretty freaky.
and Tok pointed to me and said i have a chance of seeing one cause im a quiet person. huh watever dat means. and no way i wouldnt wanna see one.
so after one tiring day. went home and my mother wanted to know where my camera was cause my sister wanted to borrow it. not my canon baby. my other camera. my nikon film cam. so yeah i remembered dat i gave the camera to farhan to take pics at the rp gig so yeah went out at 2300 hrs to take back the stupid cam. reached home half an hour later and finally got the rest i deserved.
which reminds me. im late for work. so long.
Im tired and i absolutely mean it. my neck is hurting and my feet are giving way. would have gone back to sleep but i have to go to work in 15 mins.
so yeah blergh.
i have to work on friday which sucks cause i tot had already asked for an off on fridays. but o well nvm. just one more day of work before i can juz chill out on saturday.
and 4 straight days on the pirate ship.
argh!!
stress
aku penat aku penat!!!
anyways last night was great at work. earlier in the day my manager, 'datok mashoor' and the guys were telling ghost stories in the briefin time. and apparently one of my colleagues had sighted one the night before. she was at the go kart trek's when she saw a person running ard. so she chased thinking it was a guest.
well she saw and she ran. they wouldnt tell me anything more.
so yeah pretty freaky.
and Tok pointed to me and said i have a chance of seeing one cause im a quiet person. huh watever dat means. and no way i wouldnt wanna see one.
so after one tiring day. went home and my mother wanted to know where my camera was cause my sister wanted to borrow it. not my canon baby. my other camera. my nikon film cam. so yeah i remembered dat i gave the camera to farhan to take pics at the rp gig so yeah went out at 2300 hrs to take back the stupid cam. reached home half an hour later and finally got the rest i deserved.
which reminds me. im late for work. so long.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
im blogging again. jus wanted to say dat my hair looks nice tonight. all dried and straight. ive achieved the BRANDON BOYD LOOK!!! well sort of. i long for longer hair.
im so addicted to the warmth. honestly its making me all sad and melancholic in a way no shitty emo band has ever done.
incubus rocks my socks.
and i jus realised that the holidays have arrived.
guess i have forgotten how holidays are like.
and isnt in strange?
for the first time in a holiday month.
everybody is out working.
most of the pp kids dat i meant.
me and faizal @escape
dan@airport
alif@swensens airport
now is dat good or bad?
which reminds me. i haven seen them for quite awhile. Outing anybody?
im so addicted to the warmth. honestly its making me all sad and melancholic in a way no shitty emo band has ever done.
incubus rocks my socks.
and i jus realised that the holidays have arrived.
guess i have forgotten how holidays are like.
and isnt in strange?
for the first time in a holiday month.
everybody is out working.
most of the pp kids dat i meant.
me and faizal @escape
dan@airport
alif@swensens airport
now is dat good or bad?
which reminds me. i haven seen them for quite awhile. Outing anybody?
"Home is behind the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread, through shadow to the edge of night, Until the stars are all alight, Mist and shadow, cloud and shade, Hope shall fail and all shall fade"
isnt dat beautiful? it jolly well is.
work was incredibly fun. there was no vomit from the guests cause i finally set the correct timing for the pirate ship. and u might wonder wat is so fun? well the sight of mats and their 'berg'ness screaming their heads off and almost puking was enough to make my day. heck, his arm was littered with tatoos but he cant even stomach the ride. how pathetic? yeyness! den it rain 5 mins before my shift ended. so we got stuck at our workplace for more than an hour.
anyhows. theres a theft case in the park and it involves one of our own crew. a 'senior' member somehow stole a handphone and surveillance cameras caught him on the act. well he has to own up if he doesnt want it to become a court case.
could it be possible?
could i have stolen it?
heh.
nieways. i wanna go shooting soon but with whom? my photography buddy mustafa is busy with his 'mintak no' 'girl scouting' orientation. so yeah. boohoo. my other photography buddy is in pulau hantu shooting some 'hantu's. and another doesnt even have a camera.
so go figure.
im alone in my interests once again....
and yeah im gonna go swimming 2morrow!! free of charge! @ the brand new wild wild wet. but i still have to work after dat so yeah. bastards.
isnt dat beautiful? it jolly well is.
work was incredibly fun. there was no vomit from the guests cause i finally set the correct timing for the pirate ship. and u might wonder wat is so fun? well the sight of mats and their 'berg'ness screaming their heads off and almost puking was enough to make my day. heck, his arm was littered with tatoos but he cant even stomach the ride. how pathetic? yeyness! den it rain 5 mins before my shift ended. so we got stuck at our workplace for more than an hour.
anyhows. theres a theft case in the park and it involves one of our own crew. a 'senior' member somehow stole a handphone and surveillance cameras caught him on the act. well he has to own up if he doesnt want it to become a court case.
could it be possible?
could i have stolen it?
heh.
nieways. i wanna go shooting soon but with whom? my photography buddy mustafa is busy with his 'mintak no' 'girl scouting' orientation. so yeah. boohoo. my other photography buddy is in pulau hantu shooting some 'hantu's. and another doesnt even have a camera.
so go figure.
im alone in my interests once again....
and yeah im gonna go swimming 2morrow!! free of charge! @ the brand new wild wild wet. but i still have to work after dat so yeah. bastards.
Monday, May 31, 2004
im getting used to my camera and im glad.
i mean getting use to its functions and all.
And im super addicted to black and white. wooohz.
so anyways. went to study with fir. at bedok. original choice of location was bedok library. but "strictly no studying on weekends" so yea... booohooo so went off to mac d. and tried to study there. did get a few notes stabbed in my mind but soon began to wander off began playin with my dg. so yeah. din arrived later and we convinced fir to go to the show with us. even followed him back home. so anyhows took an express bus which was freaking expensive but it got us to orchard in record time.
brilliant. simply brilliant.
Anyways saw the asses performed. They were great. and im so inspired by sammy's guitar playing. some of the riffs he, i assumed, made up spontaneously, were great. heh so yeah watching my own band performing without me was a strange but enlightening experience.
but they did great.
superb job guys!!
Saw quite a lot of people today.
the emokids: dillah, suhayl, rabia, zool, ikay, izad, mon, inn, suhayl.
former tpss kids: ifah, elmi, fattah, farhan, saifudin.
Dynn my LOVE. haha
and NURUL GODDESS!! woootz.
than there was syadie, yos, fadhil.
and i tot i saw liza and tasya... heh. sha____ *smilez*
hehe so many people dat i know. and i feel better already.
study/streetsfest
i mean getting use to its functions and all.
And im super addicted to black and white. wooohz.
so anyways. went to study with fir. at bedok. original choice of location was bedok library. but "strictly no studying on weekends" so yea... booohooo so went off to mac d. and tried to study there. did get a few notes stabbed in my mind but soon began to wander off began playin with my dg. so yeah. din arrived later and we convinced fir to go to the show with us. even followed him back home. so anyhows took an express bus which was freaking expensive but it got us to orchard in record time.
brilliant. simply brilliant.
Anyways saw the asses performed. They were great. and im so inspired by sammy's guitar playing. some of the riffs he, i assumed, made up spontaneously, were great. heh so yeah watching my own band performing without me was a strange but enlightening experience.
but they did great.
superb job guys!!
Saw quite a lot of people today.
the emokids: dillah, suhayl, rabia, zool, ikay, izad, mon, inn, suhayl.
former tpss kids: ifah, elmi, fattah, farhan, saifudin.
Dynn my LOVE. haha
and NURUL GODDESS!! woootz.
than there was syadie, yos, fadhil.
and i tot i saw liza and tasya... heh. sha____ *smilez*
hehe so many people dat i know. and i feel better already.
study/streetsfest
Saturday, May 29, 2004
ive said this before and im gonna say it again. i wanna get away.
get away from pasir ris.
get away from tampines.
get away from this country
and generally get away from this world.
i wanna be somewhere where i can actually enjoy my life.
without the hassles of studying.
social problems.
CURFEWs.
Pollution.
and People
the moon would be a nice place.
:)
get away from pasir ris.
get away from tampines.
get away from this country
and generally get away from this world.
i wanna be somewhere where i can actually enjoy my life.
without the hassles of studying.
social problems.
CURFEWs.
Pollution.
and People
the moon would be a nice place.
:)
Friday, May 28, 2004
I spent a usually fun filled friday at home. licking my wounds. and generally feeling sorry for myself. tsk tsk. o well this song is dedicated to me
incubus - the warmth
I'd like to close my eyes and go numb
but there's a cold wind coming from
the top of the highest high-rise today.
It's not a breeze cause' it blows hard.
Yes and it wants me to discard the humanity I know,
watch the warmth blow away.
So don't let the world bring you down.
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old.
So do you think I should adhere to that pressing new frontier?
And leave in my wake a trail of fear
Or should I hold my head up high
and throw a wrench in spokes by
leaving the air behind me clear
So don't let the world bring you down.
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow.
So don't let the world bring you down.
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old.
Before you grow old.
Where did it go?
incubus - the warmth
I'd like to close my eyes and go numb
but there's a cold wind coming from
the top of the highest high-rise today.
It's not a breeze cause' it blows hard.
Yes and it wants me to discard the humanity I know,
watch the warmth blow away.
So don't let the world bring you down.
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old.
So do you think I should adhere to that pressing new frontier?
And leave in my wake a trail of fear
Or should I hold my head up high
and throw a wrench in spokes by
leaving the air behind me clear
So don't let the world bring you down.
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow.
So don't let the world bring you down.
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old.
Before you grow old.
Where did it go?
Thursday, May 27, 2004
confu-fidz he says...
A star up in the sky
goes slowly passsing by
the lights below they spell out your name
you cant read on my mind
ur with me all the time...
eh?
you cant read on mind??
YOU CANT READ ON MY MIND??
HWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhAHAHAEH
HAahwhwahwaHAHAHEHAHSWHAHWHAWHAWHHAEwahjhwehewahwahehwhwaehwaehwa
A star up in the sky
goes slowly passsing by
the lights below they spell out your name
you cant read on my mind
ur with me all the time...
eh?
you cant read on mind??
YOU CANT READ ON MY MIND??
HWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhAHAHAEH
HAahwhwahwaHAHAHEHAHSWHAHWHAWHAWHHAEwahjhwehewahwahehwhwaehwaehwa
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
new pics are out. and urmz im tinking of probably making the dailywhine into a permanent foto log. and jus write normal entries into my livejournal. hmmz how bout dat folks? heh okie nehmind.
A night out
A night out
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
when ur out at night taking pics. u never know wat ur gonna capture. i for one.. the big scaredy cat. was editing and resizing the day's pics when i saw one freaky shot. and i mean absolutely 'freaky'. freaky untill mad.
even the assurances from zura and zack dat it was lights or a building didnt convince me. i was so freaked out dat i closed my photoshop and stopped editing the rest of the pics.
haha yeah yea im a scaredy cat!!!!!
laugh at me!!!!!!
blergh.
even the assurances from zura and zack dat it was lights or a building didnt convince me. i was so freaked out dat i closed my photoshop and stopped editing the rest of the pics.
haha yeah yea im a scaredy cat!!!!!
laugh at me!!!!!!
blergh.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Para DI GEM
uploaded some pics. yes only 20+ pics i took. i was taking the pics of the bands when i saw how much fun the peepz were having... so yeah. i locked my cam inside the locker and joined the pit. so much for band photography yeah? haha.
uploaded some pics. yes only 20+ pics i took. i was taking the pics of the bands when i saw how much fun the peepz were having... so yeah. i locked my cam inside the locker and joined the pit. so much for band photography yeah? haha.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
just when things are starting to get relaxed... i got to know dat we,(your ass) will be performing next sunday.... at @ orchard cinelesiure. a day before my networking exams. and also a day before the rp gig. den we will be playing again at the 9ninth of june. at the same place. isnt dat brilliant? den we have the tapestry thing coming up... haish
dulu doa doa nakd dapat gig... skrg gig dtg.. tanak perform plak.. haish....heh.
dulu doa doa nakd dapat gig... skrg gig dtg.. tanak perform plak.. haish....heh.
saw the streets festival line up.. and i literally *pengsan*
Band Groups
· mizeryFree
· Lounge Lizards
· Sol Fusion
· V's
· Fusion Attack
· Fourteen 10
· The Pinholes
· Karma Tree
· The Tin Pan Alley
· One Inch Punch
· Ziggies
· Always Marcia
· Amethyst
· d’Easton Ritmo
· Filler Bunnies
· Next of Kin
· 3some
· Amber
· Back by Monday
· B.A.R.B.
· B Quartet
· Cadenza
· Diversity
· Dude Foundation
· Dream2Reality
· EMOT
· Grayrayne
· The Leaven Trait
· L’ze.fier
· One Last Run
· Rafe
· Revv
· Satch Boogies
· Stardust
· Turn The Tap
· Underedge
· Youthwreck
Band Groups
· mizeryFree
· Lounge Lizards
· Sol Fusion
· V's
· Fusion Attack
· Fourteen 10
· The Pinholes
· Karma Tree
· The Tin Pan Alley
· One Inch Punch
· Ziggies
· Always Marcia
· Amethyst
· d’Easton Ritmo
· Filler Bunnies
· Next of Kin
· 3some
· Amber
· Back by Monday
· B.A.R.B.
· B Quartet
· Cadenza
· Diversity
· Dude Foundation
· Dream2Reality
· EMOT
· Grayrayne
· The Leaven Trait
· L’ze.fier
· One Last Run
· Rafe
· Revv
· Satch Boogies
· Stardust
· Turn The Tap
· Underedge
· Youthwreck
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Friday, May 21, 2004
Thursday, May 20, 2004
after 3 unsuccesful attempts at putting my blog on hiatus. i have come to a conclusion.
im addicted to blogging.
its just like something i have to do everyday. Along with waking up. eating. shitting. and yeah im waiting for someone to diss me. dat would be real interesting. :)
anyways. ive completed all my networking online tests and the final networking exam. its only the small matter of retaking the 2 tests dat i failed. was all so semangat to do it but my teacher did not activate all of it. so yeah. semangat gone. worried about the written paper though. i have a bad feeling dat im gonna have to retake networking the next 6 months. *shudders*
studying later with fir and said by the bay. hoping to complete my mathematics revisions. have to get into study mode. just for a few weeks. den june would be swell!
weeeee
im addicted to blogging.
its just like something i have to do everyday. Along with waking up. eating. shitting. and yeah im waiting for someone to diss me. dat would be real interesting. :)
anyways. ive completed all my networking online tests and the final networking exam. its only the small matter of retaking the 2 tests dat i failed. was all so semangat to do it but my teacher did not activate all of it. so yeah. semangat gone. worried about the written paper though. i have a bad feeling dat im gonna have to retake networking the next 6 months. *shudders*
studying later with fir and said by the bay. hoping to complete my mathematics revisions. have to get into study mode. just for a few weeks. den june would be swell!
weeeee
took some more photos. and yeah. your-ass jammed without me today. i came. but i didnt wanto play. as it would make much more sense for them to practice for the upcoming gig which they will play without me. so yeah weeee.
took some new pics. im starting to become a cam whore.
Haha photos
took some new pics. im starting to become a cam whore.
Haha photos
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
i was reading my old blog and i came across this post.. and it brought a tear to my eye.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, March 24, 2003
10:16 p.m.
had a fucked up day today... why does my father ahve to break the peace in the house everytime... i can't wake later den 10.00am can't play comuter longer than 2 hrs... can't play guitar at night, can't go out can't do anything.. wat the fuck... i almost blew up juz now... den i told my mother i want to go out.. and i tink she understood why... fucked up...
haiz.. anyways i followed din and dan to appeal for their lives at tp .. and over there meet zaid and rizal a.k.a tweet... funny guyss... hope i slack with them more often... followed them jamming... "the 1st chapter" yeah.. they looking for another guitarist... hmmmz i wanna join...... but i suck!! maluu sakz... and hezwan's so good at drums 2... i tink dan would have been shocked to loook at his skill... man emo rulez!!!!! hahahkz ok lar bye
---------------------
haha haish... miss you
---------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, March 24, 2003
10:16 p.m.
had a fucked up day today... why does my father ahve to break the peace in the house everytime... i can't wake later den 10.00am can't play comuter longer than 2 hrs... can't play guitar at night, can't go out can't do anything.. wat the fuck... i almost blew up juz now... den i told my mother i want to go out.. and i tink she understood why... fucked up...
haiz.. anyways i followed din and dan to appeal for their lives at tp .. and over there meet zaid and rizal a.k.a tweet... funny guyss... hope i slack with them more often... followed them jamming... "the 1st chapter" yeah.. they looking for another guitarist... hmmmz i wanna join...... but i suck!! maluu sakz... and hezwan's so good at drums 2... i tink dan would have been shocked to loook at his skill... man emo rulez!!!!! hahahkz ok lar bye
---------------------
haha haish... miss you
things done today:
Watched troy.
bought tickets to this saturdays gig.
told my mom about my secret.
things supposed to be done but not:
study.
finish networking online tests.
........
hur.hur. troy was brilliant.
no no brad pitt was brilliant.did i ever mentioned that he was my favourite actor? no? well now u know.
i hated orlando bloom's character. freaking pretty boy. hurhur. wats with the hair man? and yeah he was the one who got troy into the whole mess.
and yeah diane kruger... (droolz)
hehe. nieways. theres a gig this saturday. did not originally wanted to go but den i saw the lineup and i changed my mind. it was practically all ska. so yeah hopefully gonna have a skanking good time. been awhile since ive done anything of dat sort.
there on that beach. immortality awaits. take it. its yours.
and ive added some pics. its from the other day when s.k.u jammed.
sku revivals
Watched troy.
bought tickets to this saturdays gig.
told my mom about my secret.
things supposed to be done but not:
study.
finish networking online tests.
........
hur.hur. troy was brilliant.
no no brad pitt was brilliant.did i ever mentioned that he was my favourite actor? no? well now u know.
i hated orlando bloom's character. freaking pretty boy. hurhur. wats with the hair man? and yeah he was the one who got troy into the whole mess.
and yeah diane kruger... (droolz)
hehe. nieways. theres a gig this saturday. did not originally wanted to go but den i saw the lineup and i changed my mind. it was practically all ska. so yeah hopefully gonna have a skanking good time. been awhile since ive done anything of dat sort.
there on that beach. immortality awaits. take it. its yours.
and ive added some pics. its from the other day when s.k.u jammed.
sku revivals
Monday, May 17, 2004
all my projects are done!!! WHOOPEE!!
yesterday, work was okie i guess. We got to know of the new uniforms. Polo Shirts, 3/4 pants and yellow socks. VERY PUNKROCK!! i hate it.
hurgh so yeah i was working the ferris wheel in the afternoon shift. And the ferris wheel is one of the highest point of working at escape theme park. u can pretty much see everything going on. And basically the sun was setting. And the sky was painted with such beautiful colours. it was so brilliant. wish i had my camera with me. i simply thought i had to capture the sunset that was visible. haish. brilliant.
i wish you were here...
yesterday, work was okie i guess. We got to know of the new uniforms. Polo Shirts, 3/4 pants and yellow socks. VERY PUNKROCK!! i hate it.
hurgh so yeah i was working the ferris wheel in the afternoon shift. And the ferris wheel is one of the highest point of working at escape theme park. u can pretty much see everything going on. And basically the sun was setting. And the sky was painted with such beautiful colours. it was so brilliant. wish i had my camera with me. i simply thought i had to capture the sunset that was visible. haish. brilliant.
i wish you were here...
Sunday, May 16, 2004
have u ever thought of that someone u've just met/got to know, seems like the perfect person? And u placed ur highest hopes on him/her to complete your life. feeling dat he/she is the one. the one u could fall in love with. the one u would share ur highs and ur lows.
but then, when u finally get to know the real person.he/she knocks u from the heights, down to your knees. and u realise that he/she isnt the person u make him/her out to be. even so. u keep on clinging to him/her. Trying hard to tell yourself that he/she is the one even though its not so.Denial is the worst thing that can ever happen to a teen. o well. heh.
im curently addicted to this song. blink 182- not now
Come here, please hold my hand for now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how to fight this,
God has a master plan
And I guess
I am in his demand
Please save me this time I cannot run
And I'll see you when this is done
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one who's left behind
Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting
I see, a light it feels good
And I'll come back soon just like you would
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss
Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting and take
My one last breath, and don't forget
That I will be right here
Waiting
but then, when u finally get to know the real person.he/she knocks u from the heights, down to your knees. and u realise that he/she isnt the person u make him/her out to be. even so. u keep on clinging to him/her. Trying hard to tell yourself that he/she is the one even though its not so.Denial is the worst thing that can ever happen to a teen. o well. heh.
im curently addicted to this song. blink 182- not now
Come here, please hold my hand for now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how to fight this,
God has a master plan
And I guess
I am in his demand
Please save me this time I cannot run
And I'll see you when this is done
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one who's left behind
Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting
I see, a light it feels good
And I'll come back soon just like you would
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss
Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting and take
My one last breath, and don't forget
That I will be right here
Waiting
Saturday, May 15, 2004
first i lost my handphone. then i lost my spectacles. then i lost my house keys. i wonder what am i going to lose next?
and madness i wanna go to the ndp show this year but first i have a to do a MAJOR TASK FOR SHAHRUL.
i wont tell you wat it is.
but its downright disgusting.
Distasteful.
Degenerating.
(insert your own words here)
haish. the things i have to do. i need that instant cicak killer hair guy. where are you. NEED ASSISTANCE.
hmmmz can somebody teach me how to use a walkie-talkie?
blergh
10 important things inside your backpack/schoolbag/wallet
- Money
- Keys
- Handphone
- Discman
- Windbreaker
- HandTowel
- Spectacles
- Identity card/Bus Pass
- Notebook
- Extra Cds
9 things that you really want right now:
- t-shirts lots of em.
- Pass my bloody ite exams.
- A new bag
- Pans
- Jeans
- 512mb Ram for my com
- Skate shoe
- 512mb compact flash card for my digi cam
- Artistic brilliance
8 of your favourite foods:
- Nasi Goreng Pattaya
- Nasi Goreng Mama
- Nasi Goreng Ikan bilis
- Nasi Goreng Kampung
- Nasi Goreng Seafood
- Nasi Goreng Ayam
- Nasi Goreng Mushroom
- And yeah i like ramlee burgers too. :)
7 of your closest friends (not in order):
- PP KIDs
- PP KIDs
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
6 of your fave movies:
- The pianist
- American History X
- The patriot
- Saving private ryan
- Dumb And Dumber
- terminator 2 ( DUN LAUGH)
5 things in your room :
- Com
- guitars
- Teevee
- Playstation 2
- tons of cds
4 things you ate/drank today:
- cherryade
- coke
- hl milk
- rice with egg and chicken
3 things you couldn't live without:
- Food
- Water
- Computer/Internet
2 things you usually read:
- Websites
- Newspapers
1 person you can't forget:
- YOU!!!
lal. Rage Against BOREDOM!
and madness i wanna go to the ndp show this year but first i have a to do a MAJOR TASK FOR SHAHRUL.
i wont tell you wat it is.
but its downright disgusting.
Distasteful.
Degenerating.
(insert your own words here)
haish. the things i have to do. i need that instant cicak killer hair guy. where are you. NEED ASSISTANCE.
hmmmz can somebody teach me how to use a walkie-talkie?
blergh
10 important things inside your backpack/schoolbag/wallet
- Money
- Keys
- Handphone
- Discman
- Windbreaker
- HandTowel
- Spectacles
- Identity card/Bus Pass
- Notebook
- Extra Cds
9 things that you really want right now:
- t-shirts lots of em.
- Pass my bloody ite exams.
- A new bag
- Pans
- Jeans
- 512mb Ram for my com
- Skate shoe
- 512mb compact flash card for my digi cam
- Artistic brilliance
8 of your favourite foods:
- Nasi Goreng Pattaya
- Nasi Goreng Mama
- Nasi Goreng Ikan bilis
- Nasi Goreng Kampung
- Nasi Goreng Seafood
- Nasi Goreng Ayam
- Nasi Goreng Mushroom
- And yeah i like ramlee burgers too. :)
7 of your closest friends (not in order):
- PP KIDs
- PP KIDs
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
- PP KIDS
6 of your fave movies:
- The pianist
- American History X
- The patriot
- Saving private ryan
- Dumb And Dumber
- terminator 2 ( DUN LAUGH)
5 things in your room :
- Com
- guitars
- Teevee
- Playstation 2
- tons of cds
4 things you ate/drank today:
- cherryade
- coke
- hl milk
- rice with egg and chicken
3 things you couldn't live without:
- Food
- Water
- Computer/Internet
2 things you usually read:
- Websites
- Newspapers
1 person you can't forget:
- YOU!!!
lal. Rage Against BOREDOM!
Friday, May 14, 2004
and when the day ends i'm sure she feels sorrow
the lonely guy i am i wait for her to change
i've been here 2 days and i'll sure be here tomorrow
i'd eat her all if she were on my dinner plate and i wish
i wish she'd be more kind now
i'm out of luck cause the shades are pulled down
i've seen everything there is to be shown
i followed her all the way home
i can't be too cool in a tree with my pants down
the air is cold and i've got splinters in my feet
she caught me once but i don't think that she cares now
unlike before her view is now blocked by a leaf and i wish
i bet this last time's the 1 time too many
the rush of waiting is burning through my head
right after supper her brother showers twice a week
he kicks my ass so much that filthy white inbred
ive made mistakes by looking in the wrong window
her dad is big and i have never seen his face
i've been here 2 days and i'll sure be here tomorrow
my lady's so sweet she likes to entertain and i wish
she'd be more kind now
i just want all you kids to know dat i would be thinking of each and every single one of you when im all alone inside my bunk
the lonely guy i am i wait for her to change
i've been here 2 days and i'll sure be here tomorrow
i'd eat her all if she were on my dinner plate and i wish
i wish she'd be more kind now
i'm out of luck cause the shades are pulled down
i've seen everything there is to be shown
i followed her all the way home
i can't be too cool in a tree with my pants down
the air is cold and i've got splinters in my feet
she caught me once but i don't think that she cares now
unlike before her view is now blocked by a leaf and i wish
i bet this last time's the 1 time too many
the rush of waiting is burning through my head
right after supper her brother showers twice a week
he kicks my ass so much that filthy white inbred
ive made mistakes by looking in the wrong window
her dad is big and i have never seen his face
i've been here 2 days and i'll sure be here tomorrow
my lady's so sweet she likes to entertain and i wish
she'd be more kind now
i just want all you kids to know dat i would be thinking of each and every single one of you when im all alone inside my bunk
MATHS WAS EASY!! haha thx to adi and the maths textbook. i tink im gonna pass it.
yeyness.
anyways. hmmmz if everything had been flowing correctly. there is supposed to be jamming session with the asses today. but urmz. theres nothing from zack so yeah.
and urmz the recording. suppose to be done. but den again. no news. so yeah.
going off soon to meet allen. pray eat town maybe?
yeyness.
anyways. hmmmz if everything had been flowing correctly. there is supposed to be jamming session with the asses today. but urmz. theres nothing from zack so yeah.
and urmz the recording. suppose to be done. but den again. no news. so yeah.
going off soon to meet allen. pray eat town maybe?
again i let other unimportant stuffs get in the way of my studying. AND IM SCREWED for like the umpteenth time. as if yesterday's networking test wasnt bad enough. today i have a computing maths test. ITS FREAKING EASY if i had studied. i know because i flipped through and saw the solutions. and i thought to myself 'hey its not dat hard. i can actually pass it'. but o well.
i never did learn my lesson. rewind clock 2 years.
nieways today is a friday and i wanna go exploring again. but with who? if the guys are slacking. i wont tag along. why? cause its boring. just sitting there waiting for the sky to cry. i want some action bebeh!
so anyone free later plz ring me up and ask me out!
pEace out
i never did learn my lesson. rewind clock 2 years.
nieways today is a friday and i wanna go exploring again. but with who? if the guys are slacking. i wont tag along. why? cause its boring. just sitting there waiting for the sky to cry. i want some action bebeh!
so anyone free later plz ring me up and ask me out!
pEace out
Thursday, May 13, 2004
my mum found out about my deep dark secret.. and im officially screwed. $935 bucks in the bank. $570 short of wat i was suppose to have in there. so yeah i tink its time to tell my mum.
o well niehows. jamming later with the skus. been quite a long time. 2 years to be exact. were gonna go back to basics and play stuff from the band dat got us into all this band/punkrock shit.
BLINK 182!!!!!
o well niehows. jamming later with the skus. been quite a long time. 2 years to be exact. were gonna go back to basics and play stuff from the band dat got us into all this band/punkrock shit.
BLINK 182!!!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
got this from lukman's blog.
name:ahmad rafiee bin abdullah.
he ish:GEMINI MAN
A man in this Zodiac has a thin long and proportional face. *false*
He has a high forehead . *a lil bit true i guess*
He looks like he can not stand or sit still, a very fast person. *true*
His nose is just right in size, thin lips, talk fast and very talkative. *true says firdaus*
He can think faster than he talks, *false*
but once he starts talking, he will talk non stop as if god has gifted him with that special talk machine mouth. *true and false*
He likes to cut his hair short and he is very athletic. *very false!*
He is a tall, slim and every movement of his is "Fast" or nearly calls "Hyperactive". *true says firdaus*
He has long fingers and always tapping on table or moving his finger as if he is trying to grab something. *true*
He is the type, who will write or scribble on paper. *false*
His hair always well comb or neat. very *false*
He will spent a long time to comb his hair. *false*
He will keep his manicure and pedicure clean. *VERY VERY FALSE*
He is a well dress and clean guy, so if you like cleanliness, you will love him. *urmz i guess so?*
He will keep all his cloth in big closet, and never throw away even shirts he never wear any more, but yet he still keep buying new cloths and make sure he is in style. *false*
He knows how to dress well even with a low budget. *false*
He get bored easily with his favorite cloths, cologne. *false*
He is very picky, so soap and his cologne even have to be in the same trend or same scent. *false*
if you date this kind of guy, you might think you are dating 2 guys, you will have to guess his feeling and emotion. *true*
Is he doing thing because it is a duty, or is it because he wants to? He changes his mind as fast as he changes a new pairs of shoes. *true about the changing of minds.. false about the shoes*
He hates to set fix schedule, and dislike a boring same routine job. * VERY true*
He could hardly be on time, and can only keep time if it is complete important and necessary. *true*
He does not come late because he forgets, but because he always find other attractions along the way. *very true*
He likes to act opposite to what he wants to do. *true*
He is a very good speaker and makes a very good politician. *false*
He can easily persuade other people and well presented himself in public, a real charmer. *false*
If he is a writer, he will write the best seller. *false* take a look at the way i write my blog. sheesh.
He always searches for truth and constantly studies himself. *true*
He never satisfies about his fame, his reputation or money, because he thinks he deserved more. *true*
He will keep searching even he is not sure what is his ultimate satisfaction. *true*
Woman in love normally wants to feel secure and stable, but if you fall in love with this guy be prepared to be alone. *false*
He will come to see you when he feels like it. *true*
He won't even know how he spent his day everyday, so adjust yourself if you love him.
*true*
Dating him is like dating 2 guys, so today he can tell you how much he loves you, but tomorrow he might call you to cancel your date. *true*
When he upsets, he could tell you he hates your dress, even it is the same dress he used to tell you make you look very sexy.
Do not ask him why he is that's way for he won't have any explanations too. *true*
When he is back to normal mood, he will take you out again and forget what just happened. *false* i do think alot if something bad had happened.
You can not expect him to be the same person now, and forever. *true* everything changes. everyone changes sooner or later.
His changes will depend on you, for better or for worst. *false*
If you like to take risk and dare for challenges, you will get along with him fine. *false*. heh.
He keeps his emotional secretly as if hiding it, so you will not be able to see if he is in love with you, or does not give a damn at all, but be calm and patient. *absolutely true*
He will never leave you if he thinks you are a puzzle, then he will spent times solving this puzzle. * smiles *
true: 23
false:20
haha all this is bullshit. i took half an hour to do this so yeah. weeeee. a measure of how boring class is. but nieways.
heh!
name:ahmad rafiee bin abdullah.
he ish:GEMINI MAN
A man in this Zodiac has a thin long and proportional face. *false*
He has a high forehead . *a lil bit true i guess*
He looks like he can not stand or sit still, a very fast person. *true*
His nose is just right in size, thin lips, talk fast and very talkative. *true says firdaus*
He can think faster than he talks, *false*
but once he starts talking, he will talk non stop as if god has gifted him with that special talk machine mouth. *true and false*
He likes to cut his hair short and he is very athletic. *very false!*
He is a tall, slim and every movement of his is "Fast" or nearly calls "Hyperactive". *true says firdaus*
He has long fingers and always tapping on table or moving his finger as if he is trying to grab something. *true*
He is the type, who will write or scribble on paper. *false*
His hair always well comb or neat. very *false*
He will spent a long time to comb his hair. *false*
He will keep his manicure and pedicure clean. *VERY VERY FALSE*
He is a well dress and clean guy, so if you like cleanliness, you will love him. *urmz i guess so?*
He will keep all his cloth in big closet, and never throw away even shirts he never wear any more, but yet he still keep buying new cloths and make sure he is in style. *false*
He knows how to dress well even with a low budget. *false*
He get bored easily with his favorite cloths, cologne. *false*
He is very picky, so soap and his cologne even have to be in the same trend or same scent. *false*
if you date this kind of guy, you might think you are dating 2 guys, you will have to guess his feeling and emotion. *true*
Is he doing thing because it is a duty, or is it because he wants to? He changes his mind as fast as he changes a new pairs of shoes. *true about the changing of minds.. false about the shoes*
He hates to set fix schedule, and dislike a boring same routine job. * VERY true*
He could hardly be on time, and can only keep time if it is complete important and necessary. *true*
He does not come late because he forgets, but because he always find other attractions along the way. *very true*
He likes to act opposite to what he wants to do. *true*
He is a very good speaker and makes a very good politician. *false*
He can easily persuade other people and well presented himself in public, a real charmer. *false*
If he is a writer, he will write the best seller. *false* take a look at the way i write my blog. sheesh.
He always searches for truth and constantly studies himself. *true*
He never satisfies about his fame, his reputation or money, because he thinks he deserved more. *true*
He will keep searching even he is not sure what is his ultimate satisfaction. *true*
Woman in love normally wants to feel secure and stable, but if you fall in love with this guy be prepared to be alone. *false*
He will come to see you when he feels like it. *true*
He won't even know how he spent his day everyday, so adjust yourself if you love him.
*true*
Dating him is like dating 2 guys, so today he can tell you how much he loves you, but tomorrow he might call you to cancel your date. *true*
When he upsets, he could tell you he hates your dress, even it is the same dress he used to tell you make you look very sexy.
Do not ask him why he is that's way for he won't have any explanations too. *true*
When he is back to normal mood, he will take you out again and forget what just happened. *false* i do think alot if something bad had happened.
You can not expect him to be the same person now, and forever. *true* everything changes. everyone changes sooner or later.
His changes will depend on you, for better or for worst. *false*
If you like to take risk and dare for challenges, you will get along with him fine. *false*. heh.
He keeps his emotional secretly as if hiding it, so you will not be able to see if he is in love with you, or does not give a damn at all, but be calm and patient. *absolutely true*
He will never leave you if he thinks you are a puzzle, then he will spent times solving this puzzle. * smiles *
true: 23
false:20
haha all this is bullshit. i took half an hour to do this so yeah. weeeee. a measure of how boring class is. but nieways.
heh!
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
a classmate of mine once told me 'not having any crushes is like not having any dreams.'
never really understood that. fill me in. anybody?
heh. listening to old blink stuffs and laughing to the stupid jokes made up by mark and tom. I mean ive heard those jokes a million times but yet they still manage to tickle my funny bone. like those old p ramlee films.
"i choose to blame my parents for giving me a small bent whiner and an ugly face"
nieways... todays meeting with saifudin and mus went well. gotto explore temasek polytechnic and its brilliance. pretty nice place to study in. the humongous library was very comfy and the design school canteen's food was cheap and nice too. but i didnt like the fact dat i had to carry the plates back to the disposal tin.
blergh. at ite. we have people to do dat for us.
heh nieways. yeah the skinking feeling came back. to know dat i could have been one of them. i could have been a poly student. if only.
haish. heh~ sweetness.
never really understood that. fill me in. anybody?
heh. listening to old blink stuffs and laughing to the stupid jokes made up by mark and tom. I mean ive heard those jokes a million times but yet they still manage to tickle my funny bone. like those old p ramlee films.
"i choose to blame my parents for giving me a small bent whiner and an ugly face"
nieways... todays meeting with saifudin and mus went well. gotto explore temasek polytechnic and its brilliance. pretty nice place to study in. the humongous library was very comfy and the design school canteen's food was cheap and nice too. but i didnt like the fact dat i had to carry the plates back to the disposal tin.
blergh. at ite. we have people to do dat for us.
heh nieways. yeah the skinking feeling came back. to know dat i could have been one of them. i could have been a poly student. if only.
haish. heh~ sweetness.
wat a crazy monday. here are some pics. enjoy.
Skool and slack
Basketball Madness
and someone made me really happy today!! hahahahhaha
haish
Skool and slack
Basketball Madness
and someone made me really happy today!! hahahahhaha
haish
Monday, May 10, 2004
Sunday, May 09, 2004
got this from allen's blog. even though i tink all this quizzes are bull crap. this one is pretty interesting. Love Quiz
1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love.
You chose the long road--you take your time and do not fall in
love easily.
2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a
relationship, while the number of white represents what you
expect in return.
You give 50% and expect 50% in return.
3. This question represents your attitude towards handling
relationship problems.
You asked the family member to get your significant other--you
like to avoid problems and hope that they will solve themselves.
4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see
your boy/girlfriend.
You want to place the roses on the bed--you like to see him/her
a lot.
5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality.
You prefer the person to be asleep--you love the person as the
way s/he is.
6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone.
You chose the longer road--you will tend to stay in love for
a long time.
That's all folks. Best wishes to those who are in love.
heh o well. my june holidays are fully booked. gonna be working like a mad man almost everyday except fridays and saturdays. but i will be going on a holiday with my family to cameron highlands, langkawi and penang. i tink.
places that i of 2 years ago would think of as very boring. but to be honest now i prefer going to more of this scenic places rather than the hectic metropolitan places like kuala lumpur.
i got 117 bucks pay for the whole month of april and dat fucking sucks. i mean who the heck gets 117 for their pay? heh o well.
hoping for june's pay. cause most prob its gonna wipe out all my debts. den i would have more money to spend on stuffs i have always wanted.
like those vans xl2 rowley shoes or that globe skate shoe.
a pair of levis jeans. argh levis. have always wanted a pair of levis since i was about 12.
den tons and tons of band t-shirts, long/short sleeve shirts, beanie, caps... blergh so much stuff to buy. weeee.
money money money
1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love.
You chose the long road--you take your time and do not fall in
love easily.
2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a
relationship, while the number of white represents what you
expect in return.
You give 50% and expect 50% in return.
3. This question represents your attitude towards handling
relationship problems.
You asked the family member to get your significant other--you
like to avoid problems and hope that they will solve themselves.
4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see
your boy/girlfriend.
You want to place the roses on the bed--you like to see him/her
a lot.
5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality.
You prefer the person to be asleep--you love the person as the
way s/he is.
6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone.
You chose the longer road--you will tend to stay in love for
a long time.
That's all folks. Best wishes to those who are in love.
heh o well. my june holidays are fully booked. gonna be working like a mad man almost everyday except fridays and saturdays. but i will be going on a holiday with my family to cameron highlands, langkawi and penang. i tink.
places that i of 2 years ago would think of as very boring. but to be honest now i prefer going to more of this scenic places rather than the hectic metropolitan places like kuala lumpur.
i got 117 bucks pay for the whole month of april and dat fucking sucks. i mean who the heck gets 117 for their pay? heh o well.
hoping for june's pay. cause most prob its gonna wipe out all my debts. den i would have more money to spend on stuffs i have always wanted.
like those vans xl2 rowley shoes or that globe skate shoe.
a pair of levis jeans. argh levis. have always wanted a pair of levis since i was about 12.
den tons and tons of band t-shirts, long/short sleeve shirts, beanie, caps... blergh so much stuff to buy. weeee.
money money money
Friday, May 07, 2004
just got back from slacking/jamming. waste as usual an hour late from my curfew. but as usual got of lightly.
slacking was mad.
TheCrew:
sam
amin
alan
zack
dan
aide
rafiee
din
mustafa
alif
allen
apek
asri
saifudin
hmmmz i believe dat was all. heh so yeah walked around tampines like one whole bunch of gangsters and we 'attacked' tampines mall and made fun of people doing the para para game. overall making a nuisance of ourselves.
would have taken pictures if i had properly charged my cam batts.i did not. stupid charger.
den sam suggested we go back to the old tampines sec. we did. but the school was closed so yeah we went to amin's block and was told off by some stupid mats. so called 'guardians' of the area. my hate relationship with mat is back on track. we were just buying ice cream for god sakes. stupid mats.
nieways jamming sucked. after such a long time it really showed. we are seriusly not tight. the guitar i used had its strings snapped not once but twice. really pissed me off man.but yeah we tried playing other stuff. like karma and dunt speak. needless to say progression from punkrock to other genres is very hard. so used to playing very loud stuff.so pelan pelan kayuh heh.
ouh well anyways well be recording next week. seriuosly behind tyme. hope everyting goes fine.
and yeah well be playing the streets festival thingy which is fucken awesome. 3 upcoming gigs for us. whoooopeee!
i liek this pic. i think its the best self pic i ever had. heh.
slacking was mad.
TheCrew:
sam
amin
alan
zack
dan
aide
rafiee
din
mustafa
alif
allen
apek
asri
saifudin
hmmmz i believe dat was all. heh so yeah walked around tampines like one whole bunch of gangsters and we 'attacked' tampines mall and made fun of people doing the para para game. overall making a nuisance of ourselves.
would have taken pictures if i had properly charged my cam batts.i did not. stupid charger.
den sam suggested we go back to the old tampines sec. we did. but the school was closed so yeah we went to amin's block and was told off by some stupid mats. so called 'guardians' of the area. my hate relationship with mat is back on track. we were just buying ice cream for god sakes. stupid mats.
nieways jamming sucked. after such a long time it really showed. we are seriusly not tight. the guitar i used had its strings snapped not once but twice. really pissed me off man.but yeah we tried playing other stuff. like karma and dunt speak. needless to say progression from punkrock to other genres is very hard. so used to playing very loud stuff.so pelan pelan kayuh heh.
ouh well anyways well be recording next week. seriuosly behind tyme. hope everyting goes fine.
and yeah well be playing the streets festival thingy which is fucken awesome. 3 upcoming gigs for us. whoooopeee!
i liek this pic. i think its the best self pic i ever had. heh.
my class starts in 5 mins and im still siting on my com typing this down. reason? i dun feel the need to come early cause i know my other classmates would come late anyway which means the teacher would start the lesson late. so yeah.
my english absolutely sucks.
today is friday and i wanted to originally go exploring again with mus and saifudin like we did last week but somebody has religious classes so yeah priorities. den theres jamming later wit the asses. not sure where or when. so most prob gonna just go back to my old routine of slacking with the guys and do some catching up.
so yeah my mums knocking on my door so i have to go
my english absolutely sucks.
today is friday and i wanted to originally go exploring again with mus and saifudin like we did last week but somebody has religious classes so yeah priorities. den theres jamming later wit the asses. not sure where or when. so most prob gonna just go back to my old routine of slacking with the guys and do some catching up.
so yeah my mums knocking on my door so i have to go
Thursday, May 06, 2004
geez im getting a little frustrated with some things. some of which i wont put into writing.
anyways.
watching the cable guy and corky romano back to back is really an enjoyable experience.
den playing need for speed underground made me a total mad man. cursing and swearin on my own everytime i hit a wall or another vehicle. only to be called crazy by my sister.
den i got to be gandalf for a day. hwahwa
den i became spiderman.
heh geeez. sitting at home rulez!
anyways prepare your puking bowls.
weee pop.
MADNESS
anyways.
watching the cable guy and corky romano back to back is really an enjoyable experience.
den playing need for speed underground made me a total mad man. cursing and swearin on my own everytime i hit a wall or another vehicle. only to be called crazy by my sister.
den i got to be gandalf for a day. hwahwa
den i became spiderman.
heh geeez. sitting at home rulez!
anyways prepare your puking bowls.
weee pop.
MADNESS
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
just got back from guitar lessons with mus.
teached him some guitar excercises to increase his finger strength.
dats basically all. its up to him now to practice on his own.
and im really excited about me, saifudin and mus's little pet project. we're thinking long term about this and we really hope we can go far.
maybe its starting off as just a hobby but i hope this will be something that can become my line of occupation in the near future. as i said. i dun want a nine to five job. so this will suit me fine.
hopes.
we shall see in 5 years time.
teached him some guitar excercises to increase his finger strength.
dats basically all. its up to him now to practice on his own.
and im really excited about me, saifudin and mus's little pet project. we're thinking long term about this and we really hope we can go far.
maybe its starting off as just a hobby but i hope this will be something that can become my line of occupation in the near future. as i said. i dun want a nine to five job. so this will suit me fine.
hopes.
we shall see in 5 years time.
Mes espoirs sont si hauts que votre baiser pourrait me tuer. Donc fera ne vous me tuez pas, donc je meurs heureux. Mon coeur est le vôtre de remplir ou éclater. Pour casser ou enterrer, ou porter comme jewelery. Lequel jamais vous préférez.
Je toujours rappèlerai le son de la stéréo. Le faible des lumières douces, l'odeur de vos cheveux. Que vous avez tournoyé dans vos doigts. Et le temps sur l'horloge quand nous nous sommes rendu compte ons étais si en retard. Et la promenade que nous avons partagées ensemble. Les rues étaient mouillées et le portail a été verrouillé. Si j'ai sauté il et vous a laissé dans. Et vous vous êtes tenu à la porte avec vos mains sur ma taille. Et vous avez embrassé m'aime que vous l'avez signifié. Et j'ai su, que vous l'avez signifié, que vous l'avez signifié, que vous l'avez signifié. Et j'ai su que vous l'avez signifié, que vous l'avez signifié.
si long et remercie pour les souliers
bon au revoir
Je toujours rappèlerai le son de la stéréo. Le faible des lumières douces, l'odeur de vos cheveux. Que vous avez tournoyé dans vos doigts. Et le temps sur l'horloge quand nous nous sommes rendu compte ons étais si en retard. Et la promenade que nous avons partagées ensemble. Les rues étaient mouillées et le portail a été verrouillé. Si j'ai sauté il et vous a laissé dans. Et vous vous êtes tenu à la porte avec vos mains sur ma taille. Et vous avez embrassé m'aime que vous l'avez signifié. Et j'ai su, que vous l'avez signifié, que vous l'avez signifié, que vous l'avez signifié. Et j'ai su que vous l'avez signifié, que vous l'avez signifié.
si long et remercie pour les souliers
bon au revoir
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
the sound of ringing telephones irritates me like mad. especially when u know the call is not for you yet your parents are screaming at you to pick it up. wat makes it even more annoying is the fact that u know the call is for your god damn sister but yet she still chooses to not pick it up. leaving her friends at the mercy of my rudeness.
so yeah. i pick it up. knowing im gonna hear this.
as predicted the voice at the other end says ."hello.. boleh saya cakap dgn aishah?".
without even saying a word i freaking slammed the phone down.
stupid 14 year old girls.
dan'gon'
khussaini
happily me
typical shot. but im happy with it cause its my first succesful attempt at the blurred background thingy. i know dats lame but den im just starting this shit. weeee
so yeah. i pick it up. knowing im gonna hear this.
as predicted the voice at the other end says ."hello.. boleh saya cakap dgn aishah?".
without even saying a word i freaking slammed the phone down.
stupid 14 year old girls.
dan'gon'
khussaini
happily me
typical shot. but im happy with it cause its my first succesful attempt at the blurred background thingy. i know dats lame but den im just starting this shit. weeee
funeral for a friend - your revolution is a joke
They stand to fight for nothing.
We show them how stupid we've become.
As fortune favours only,
those who care to much to see.
Oh it will never be okay,
as some will say.
We stand to fight for nothing,
so close your eyes and stay away.
Dont believe their headlines
they poison our minds, everyday
Oh it will never be the same,
the purpose bearing everyday.
The lies that lead you into the grave.
As some will say.
And you will never be okay,
as some will say.
Purpose bearing everyday,
as some will say.
Lies that lead you to the grave,
as some will say.
your revolution is a joke,
as I will say..
They stand to fight for nothing.
We show them how stupid we've become.
As fortune favours only,
those who care to much to see.
Oh it will never be okay,
as some will say.
We stand to fight for nothing,
so close your eyes and stay away.
Dont believe their headlines
they poison our minds, everyday
Oh it will never be the same,
the purpose bearing everyday.
The lies that lead you into the grave.
As some will say.
And you will never be okay,
as some will say.
Purpose bearing everyday,
as some will say.
Lies that lead you to the grave,
as some will say.
your revolution is a joke,
as I will say..
Monday, May 03, 2004
i guess the guys will be performing after all this 31st.
without me of course.
and yeah like it would matter much cause really underedge would sound way better without me spoiling the guitars. i mean im such a pathetic guitar player. and the songs dat i write are so lame. honestly. they are. o heh o well. u might be thinking im mad or something but actually im not. im actually pretty happy and contented. weeeee
"yet im nothing more... than a line in your book...."
without me of course.
and yeah like it would matter much cause really underedge would sound way better without me spoiling the guitars. i mean im such a pathetic guitar player. and the songs dat i write are so lame. honestly. they are. o heh o well. u might be thinking im mad or something but actually im not. im actually pretty happy and contented. weeeee
"yet im nothing more... than a line in your book...."
Sunday, May 02, 2004
[listening to march12- telephone]
hmmmz this song has certainly grown on me. very meaningful hur the lyrics.
going to work in a few mins time. and i just wrote in cause i forgot to thank mr DYNN for treating me to a very delicious mutton chop meal yesterday. haha. SO THANK YOU MR DYNN. harap tuhan murahkan reski kepadamu. hehe. tak menyesal aku ade kawan cam kau. weeeee
hmmmz this song has certainly grown on me. very meaningful hur the lyrics.
going to work in a few mins time. and i just wrote in cause i forgot to thank mr DYNN for treating me to a very delicious mutton chop meal yesterday. haha. SO THANK YOU MR DYNN. harap tuhan murahkan reski kepadamu. hehe. tak menyesal aku ade kawan cam kau. weeeee
man yoo lost again. they're fuckin pathetic.
went shopping with dynn. ( dah cam gay partner siakz). well he went shopping and i followed. seriously the only places that i go shopping to are beach road, penin and far east plaza. so yeah now have more choices. heh.
and yeah hows this for a nice piece of news.
your-ass will be performing in the mini gig at rp which is on the 31st.
i will be having my networking fundamentals exam on the 31st.
our set starts at 1330hrs.
my paper ends at 1330 hrs.
so unless i can reach redhill from tampines in a fraction of a second den we i will not be performing with your-ass.
whoop tee doo.
so yeah? dilemma? no fucking way. exams are more important den performing for some lunchtime assembly or something.
so yeah sorry dudes.
good night
went shopping with dynn. ( dah cam gay partner siakz). well he went shopping and i followed. seriously the only places that i go shopping to are beach road, penin and far east plaza. so yeah now have more choices. heh.
and yeah hows this for a nice piece of news.
your-ass will be performing in the mini gig at rp which is on the 31st.
i will be having my networking fundamentals exam on the 31st.
our set starts at 1330hrs.
my paper ends at 1330 hrs.
so unless i can reach redhill from tampines in a fraction of a second den we i will not be performing with your-ass.
whoop tee doo.
so yeah? dilemma? no fucking way. exams are more important den performing for some lunchtime assembly or something.
so yeah sorry dudes.
good night
Saturday, May 01, 2004
listening to : william hung - i believe i can fly
after lsitening to this. i think i can sing. i really do.
i dun tink im going out today. no plans. no gigs. everyboyds busy doing their own stuff maybe. wanted to hang out with pp. but allens outside working. din and alif are away on msn. so yeah. its beginning to be a bore. damn it. after i complained and complained about work over riding my chance to go out with my friends. to be brutally honest i wish i was working instead today. haish.
after lsitening to this. i think i can sing. i really do.
i dun tink im going out today. no plans. no gigs. everyboyds busy doing their own stuff maybe. wanted to hang out with pp. but allens outside working. din and alif are away on msn. so yeah. its beginning to be a bore. damn it. after i complained and complained about work over riding my chance to go out with my friends. to be brutally honest i wish i was working instead today. haish.
Friday, April 30, 2004
the pianist is a briliant show. well all war movies are brilliant to me.
ever since my father ditched hbo and went with star movies ive spent countless hours outside watching movies. something dat ive not done for quite awhile. forgetful person dat i am. ive already forgotten wat movies i had watched so yeah short term memory loss. heh
going skool in an hrs time. and im off to prata land.
ever since my father ditched hbo and went with star movies ive spent countless hours outside watching movies. something dat ive not done for quite awhile. forgetful person dat i am. ive already forgotten wat movies i had watched so yeah short term memory loss. heh
going skool in an hrs time. and im off to prata land.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
music of choice: the rocking horse winner - atmoshpere
i cant wait for tomorrow. fridays have always been enjoyable for me. whether its jamming or just hanging out. last week caught a movie. this week not sure of wat i wanna do. maybe shoot some balls with mus. or shahrul. o well.
i spend 2 bucks in school today. its quite and achievement considering the amount i used to spend before. always splurging on food and drinks. i mean my daily allowance is 5 bucks (and some good days 6 or 7)but then all of it would be gone by the time i reach home.blame it on the packets of milo, vitasoy, french fries etc etc. so today was exceptional. heh
the rocking horse winner rocks.
"we looked outside the other day.
at thirty-thousand feet,
we swayed from our three seats 'cause soon we'll be buzzing into the fire.
i could feel us flying with every single note.
the memories of a precious time.
to be somewhere, in a distant atmosphere,
but i just can't control the tears. one more time.
we walked out onto your front lawn.
set three legs aside.
looked into the glass and caught the light shining into my eyes.
i could feel me flying so high above the sky.
one more time we'll meet i know we will.
we'll meet someday somewhere up high, in the hills.
time to exit now.
you didn't know me and i didn't know you well."
i cant wait for tomorrow. fridays have always been enjoyable for me. whether its jamming or just hanging out. last week caught a movie. this week not sure of wat i wanna do. maybe shoot some balls with mus. or shahrul. o well.
i spend 2 bucks in school today. its quite and achievement considering the amount i used to spend before. always splurging on food and drinks. i mean my daily allowance is 5 bucks (and some good days 6 or 7)but then all of it would be gone by the time i reach home.blame it on the packets of milo, vitasoy, french fries etc etc. so today was exceptional. heh
the rocking horse winner rocks.
"we looked outside the other day.
at thirty-thousand feet,
we swayed from our three seats 'cause soon we'll be buzzing into the fire.
i could feel us flying with every single note.
the memories of a precious time.
to be somewhere, in a distant atmosphere,
but i just can't control the tears. one more time.
we walked out onto your front lawn.
set three legs aside.
looked into the glass and caught the light shining into my eyes.
i could feel me flying so high above the sky.
one more time we'll meet i know we will.
we'll meet someday somewhere up high, in the hills.
time to exit now.
you didn't know me and i didn't know you well."
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
pins sold:
funeral for a friend, brand new, story of the year, my chemical romance and finch.
i really need to sell my incubus and losprophet cds... i really need money. seriusly am broke right now. not even the atm can save me . haish. arghhhhhh payday in 2 weeks time. argh donno if im gonna be able to survive till dat day. grrrr
anyways started work on my new layout. taking things slowly. graphic by graphic. word by word. and news just in.
DENALI HAS DISBANDED!!! OOHH GOD WHY???????????? first plain sunset, den march12 den denali?. haish. maura ooo maura.
i really need to sell my incubus and losprophet cds... i really need money. seriusly am broke right now. not even the atm can save me . haish. arghhhhhh payday in 2 weeks time. argh donno if im gonna be able to survive till dat day. grrrr
anyways started work on my new layout. taking things slowly. graphic by graphic. word by word. and news just in.
DENALI HAS DISBANDED!!! OOHH GOD WHY???????????? first plain sunset, den march12 den denali?. haish. maura ooo maura.
Monday, April 26, 2004
if u guys want my new no. msg me at msn k. got the new 8******* series which is really cool.
hmmmz i want new shoes. new chuck taylors to be exact. white school shoes type of chuck taylors to be fully exact. gonna get it soon. the reality of me turning 18 soon is too much for me man. im getting so fucking old. i mean when i was in primary school, yeha of kos i wanted to become older but now i want my growth to end. i wanna stay this way forever!!!!
forever and ever, lets make this last forever.. forever and ever lets make this last forever...
hmmmz i want new shoes. new chuck taylors to be exact. white school shoes type of chuck taylors to be fully exact. gonna get it soon. the reality of me turning 18 soon is too much for me man. im getting so fucking old. i mean when i was in primary school, yeha of kos i wanted to become older but now i want my growth to end. i wanna stay this way forever!!!!
forever and ever, lets make this last forever.. forever and ever lets make this last forever...
Sunday, April 25, 2004
im blogging again... donno why?? for fun maybe?? hahaha i feel so madness . blame it on dat picture. hahaha hais.
i tink im gonna go to the library and borrow books on how to start/sustain conversations. especially with members of the opposite sex. sheesh i suffer from a very bad speech defect. words get bumbled so much so dat one thing becomes another. i suffer at work because of this. the guests dun understand wat im talking about. hmmz o well. communication problems. and yeah my absolute distaste in phone conversations. i hate talking on the phone. even if just calling somebody up to ask for something like "when are we meeting or sumthing." heh dun ask me why. its just me.o well. im talking nonsense again. plz plz do diss me!!! tomdelonge or pop love or whoever.
ok aku dah giler .. lebih baik tido.
i tink im gonna go to the library and borrow books on how to start/sustain conversations. especially with members of the opposite sex. sheesh i suffer from a very bad speech defect. words get bumbled so much so dat one thing becomes another. i suffer at work because of this. the guests dun understand wat im talking about. hmmz o well. communication problems. and yeah my absolute distaste in phone conversations. i hate talking on the phone. even if just calling somebody up to ask for something like "when are we meeting or sumthing." heh dun ask me why. its just me.o well. im talking nonsense again. plz plz do diss me!!! tomdelonge or pop love or whoever.
ok aku dah giler .. lebih baik tido.
i stole this somewhere. though it doesnt apply to me. i just tot this was pretty sweet.
50 Romantic things to do 4 your Boy/Girl Friend
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes!!
30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
haish. hahahah sweet dreams my love.....
50 Romantic things to do 4 your Boy/Girl Friend
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes!!
30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
haish. hahahah sweet dreams my love.....
hmmz yesterday was okie i guess. waited for zack for about one full hour at the interchange. i just knew he was gonna be late so why did i even bother going out early. but because i was early, i bumped into mustafa kamal bin ishak and forced him to sit with me. after all it has been such a long time. can see dat poly life has taken its toll on him. poor guy. remember the old times between the both of us where we just sit at the railings observing the world. making stupid commentz on the way people dress, on how people walk, on how fat that minah is on how hot dat girl is and so on and so forth. it was great huh. so yeah zack came so we met dynn at dhoby gaut. sat outside planet paradigm to kill time. after all stardom starts at 7. my uncle fazlin was there in full uniform. a punk? a skin? a rudeboy? nah. an ampai. hehe so smart loooking in is police uniform. pantat jack siolz! haha so yeah anyhows.
zack and alif went in so me and dynn went off to planet paradigm. got lost in the nel. ended up taking the wrong train. how stupid is dat. haha so went to stardom and it was super lame. there were some funny moments like perform like the band 'masih pat teka' . den digiland was enjoyable. the vox had an extremely nice voice. den the dance, rapping stuff bored me untill mad. so after no better than you had played me and dynn left.
on the bus home from pasir ris interchange i bumped into a colleague of mine. and in the middle of the conversation i told him i lost my hp. and he told me. he found a hp. so i was like. omigosh. sell it to me sell it to me. and he was like sure how much how much?
so no i am a not so proud owner of a nokia 2100 which cost me 20 freaking bucks. HAHAHAHAHAHAH o well all the while i was aiming for that 3200 but god damn. 20 bucks for a hp. Sebat je lar...
and yes it strikes me all of a sudden dat girls with brilliant english turn me on...
zack and alif went in so me and dynn went off to planet paradigm. got lost in the nel. ended up taking the wrong train. how stupid is dat. haha so went to stardom and it was super lame. there were some funny moments like perform like the band 'masih pat teka' . den digiland was enjoyable. the vox had an extremely nice voice. den the dance, rapping stuff bored me untill mad. so after no better than you had played me and dynn left.
on the bus home from pasir ris interchange i bumped into a colleague of mine. and in the middle of the conversation i told him i lost my hp. and he told me. he found a hp. so i was like. omigosh. sell it to me sell it to me. and he was like sure how much how much?
so no i am a not so proud owner of a nokia 2100 which cost me 20 freaking bucks. HAHAHAHAHAHAH o well all the while i was aiming for that 3200 but god damn. 20 bucks for a hp. Sebat je lar...
and yes it strikes me all of a sudden dat girls with brilliant english turn me on...
Saturday, April 24, 2004
ah the gig at republic poly isnt a gig at all. each band can only bring 2 outsiders. i mean wat the hell?? guessing probably its like an assembly kind of thing. o well. yeah we are last band we start our set at 1330 hours. okie kids 31st may. lets gatecrash rp!!!!
cant wait for it man. i mean like omigosh were gonna be performing a republic poly man.. whooppee!!
(read sarcasm*)
cant wait for it man. i mean like omigosh were gonna be performing a republic poly man.. whooppee!!
(read sarcasm*)
Friday, April 23, 2004
wee. im just so lazy to do a new layout at the moment so yeah. weeee. 50 first dates is a nice show. not as funny as i wanted to. i mean i didnt exactly have stomach cramps. ive never really liked adam sandler's style of comedic expression. wanted to watch dawn of the dead but dynn chickened out. wat the heck? WALKING TALL? ah action- hero movies are so lame. if you smell lalalallala what the fie is cooking
going to stardom 2morrow with the same people i hanged out with today. donno why the heck i am choosing to skip the planet paradigm gig but o well must support classmate. so yeah anyone goint to ite stardom plz. leave me a msg if u need a friend. heh.
going to stardom 2morrow with the same people i hanged out with today. donno why the heck i am choosing to skip the planet paradigm gig but o well must support classmate. so yeah anyone goint to ite stardom plz. leave me a msg if u need a friend. heh.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
wat makes a person a mat? just because he has super tight pants, drinks liqour, smokes, has dyed hair, luis vuitton( correct or not?) bag, beatle bug shoes and birkenstock slip ons doesnt make him a mat. or does it? cause i have a couple of friends who dress up this way. but cant possibly be branded mats. yes even with a big tattoo on his chest. or even belonging to some particular group.
at first of course when i started getting to know them. i was very very uncomfortable. cause i always have the mind set that these are people who are, well..... bad. till today i ahve difficulty conversing with them even though they turned out to be nice people. yes never judge a book by its cover they say and i fully understand that now. no way though that im saying i like mats and will hang out with them and eventually become one of them. fuck no. im just saying not all mats are dat bad. minahs are totally different however. and dat is totally another story.
answers to tags:
fad: ahahakz plz plz im such a sucky guitar player. im not teaching. just helping. so yeah NO. haha
raq: hello. thx for dropping by. and who might your friend be??
ifran: ifran, if my entries are deep, than the singapore river is the shallowest place in the world.
shahrul : u steal my customers!! nene pop!!!
anyways amazing how music has control of your feelings. started my day off listening to streetlight manifesto. and heck yeah was smiling and body moving at the back of the bus. den i listened to plainsunset when i was going home. and it was raining. so yeah u know the picture. heh. nieways. this blog is supposed to be dead right????
have a nice day.
at first of course when i started getting to know them. i was very very uncomfortable. cause i always have the mind set that these are people who are, well..... bad. till today i ahve difficulty conversing with them even though they turned out to be nice people. yes never judge a book by its cover they say and i fully understand that now. no way though that im saying i like mats and will hang out with them and eventually become one of them. fuck no. im just saying not all mats are dat bad. minahs are totally different however. and dat is totally another story.
answers to tags:
fad: ahahakz plz plz im such a sucky guitar player. im not teaching. just helping. so yeah NO. haha
raq: hello. thx for dropping by. and who might your friend be??
ifran: ifran, if my entries are deep, than the singapore river is the shallowest place in the world.
shahrul : u steal my customers!! nene pop!!!
anyways amazing how music has control of your feelings. started my day off listening to streetlight manifesto. and heck yeah was smiling and body moving at the back of the bus. den i listened to plainsunset when i was going home. and it was raining. so yeah u know the picture. heh. nieways. this blog is supposed to be dead right????
have a nice day.
love or money????? well depends on wat type of love. love for your parents. love for your friends. love for your sister. this sorts of thing money cant buy. but sad to say money can buy u a girlfriend. yes its true. prove me wrong.
i choose money u know why? cause love cant buy you a canon powershot a80. love cant buy you gibson sg. unless of course u buttfuck the salesman. u can fall in love all over again if you fall out of it. money doesnt exactly fall from the sky.
so untill i find the absolute perfect one to be my only one. yes my only one. my first and my last. im just gonna give love a miss.
i choose money u know why? cause love cant buy you a canon powershot a80. love cant buy you gibson sg. unless of course u buttfuck the salesman. u can fall in love all over again if you fall out of it. money doesnt exactly fall from the sky.
so untill i find the absolute perfect one to be my only one. yes my only one. my first and my last. im just gonna give love a miss.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
jus finished doing a simple flash cover page for my swe project. been a while since ive touched that software so yeah completely bummed. got myself a neat chords and scales book. its about time i got real help in my guitar. practicing all those scales and shit. i need to improve myself.
so starting next week im giving guitar lessons to mustafa at the price of 2 dollars every lesson plus free drink. how nice is dat?? considering that im a lousy guitar player. o well.
den of kos. when my dgcam arrives.. gonna go shooting with shahrul or/and mus.will take nice pics of scenery. i plan not to take pics of people. people just suck. heh.
all this and more to be done in the holidays. school is getting ever so lame.cant wait for it to be over. need to do something else rather than jamming and onlining. wee photography and lan games coming right up! heh.
okie okie i admit the only reason why i listen to denali is because of the gorgeous lead singer. maura davis. den again. the reason most of you people listen to my star is because of azura. so yeah. jeng jeng.
so starting next week im giving guitar lessons to mustafa at the price of 2 dollars every lesson plus free drink. how nice is dat?? considering that im a lousy guitar player. o well.
den of kos. when my dgcam arrives.. gonna go shooting with shahrul or/and mus.will take nice pics of scenery. i plan not to take pics of people. people just suck. heh.
all this and more to be done in the holidays. school is getting ever so lame.cant wait for it to be over. need to do something else rather than jamming and onlining. wee photography and lan games coming right up! heh.
okie okie i admit the only reason why i listen to denali is because of the gorgeous lead singer. maura davis. den again. the reason most of you people listen to my star is because of azura. so yeah. jeng jeng.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
heh. i need space. projects are killing me. spent the whole day falling asleep. on the way to skool. on the bus to woodlands. on adi's bed. on the pavement. on the bus back to tamp. on the bus back to pasir ris. on my bed. on my toliet bowl. and on my computer desk. goodness. need more sleep.
nieways did my testimonial rounds. writing out testimonials for almost everyone whom i feel is worthy. haha well mainly because im bored and im trying to combat my sleepiness. so yeah cheers
nieways did my testimonial rounds. writing out testimonials for almost everyone whom i feel is worthy. haha well mainly because im bored and im trying to combat my sleepiness. so yeah cheers
Monday, April 19, 2004
thanx shahrul for the chicken rice and bandong. nice treat. good luck with your seahorse adi. mesti bleh nye.
anyways. amazing i used to think that only scenesters wear studded belts and all but it seems to me everybody is wearing it now. lucky ive sold mine. yeah aku dah relax dah. im not being myself. anyways. i seriusly need a guitar teacher and new songs. and yeah my band seriusly needs a new band name. UNDEREDGE IS THE WORST FREAKING BAND NAME EVER.
anyways. amazing i used to think that only scenesters wear studded belts and all but it seems to me everybody is wearing it now. lucky ive sold mine. yeah aku dah relax dah. im not being myself. anyways. i seriusly need a guitar teacher and new songs. and yeah my band seriusly needs a new band name. UNDEREDGE IS THE WORST FREAKING BAND NAME EVER.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
an awesome song by an awesome band
iris riot - Sweet November
I miss you less with each day you're gone
Only a day before you blow fifteen candles
On the day itself,you were passing out
Our letters to the fire in your skies and clouds
Why must you pretend
That i'm no longer there?
Why must you leave me
As the hero in despair?
I know that your whispers
Are only winds of your changes
Between black and white
Like the bluest skies of November
Don't you understand that what i said is true?
I'm pissed like a bottle of wine without you
In my life
You told me that i'm an emotional basketcase
Alike or not,my iris has withered all away
iris riot - Sweet November
I miss you less with each day you're gone
Only a day before you blow fifteen candles
On the day itself,you were passing out
Our letters to the fire in your skies and clouds
Why must you pretend
That i'm no longer there?
Why must you leave me
As the hero in despair?
I know that your whispers
Are only winds of your changes
Between black and white
Like the bluest skies of November
Don't you understand that what i said is true?
I'm pissed like a bottle of wine without you
In my life
You told me that i'm an emotional basketcase
Alike or not,my iris has withered all away
your - ass update: upcoming gigs.
26th may repubic poly mini gig.
24th and 25th july tapestry gig (yet to be confirmed)
so anyhows. my pins are booked by some dude playing in a band called a subtle revenge. Yeah that frodo fella. so yeah. we shall see wats left hur.
aku miss kau cam nak giler sak!!!
i miss you untill mad!!!
wee popz.
26th may repubic poly mini gig.
24th and 25th july tapestry gig (yet to be confirmed)
so anyhows. my pins are booked by some dude playing in a band called a subtle revenge. Yeah that frodo fella. so yeah. we shall see wats left hur.
aku miss kau cam nak giler sak!!!
i miss you untill mad!!!
wee popz.
Friday, April 16, 2004
Thursday, April 15, 2004
stuffs to sell:*updated*
lost prophets- start something cd *$10*
acoustic guitar *$10*
studded belt *$15*
incubus - a crow left of the murder cd *$12*
oasis there and then live video cd *$10*
mesh cap *$5*
guitar casing *$10*
pins at *$1*each: finch, my chemical romance, cursive,the used,mysquaredcircle,59 mins,story of the year,thursday,cesspit,takingbacksunday,coheed and cambria, brand new, funeral for a friend
desperate men do desperate things...
lost prophets- start something cd *$10*
incubus - a crow left of the murder cd *$12*
oasis there and then live video cd *$10*
mesh cap *$5*
guitar casing *$10*
pins at *$1*each: finch, my chemical romance, cursive,the used,mysquaredcircle,59 mins,story of the year,thursday,cesspit,takingbacksunday,coheed and cambria, brand new, funeral for a friend
desperate men do desperate things...
stuffs to sell:
lost prophets- start something cd *$10*
acoustic guitar *$10*
studded belt *$15*
incubus - a crow left of the murder cd *$12*
oasis there and then live video cd *$10*
mesh cap *$5*
guitar casing *$10*
pins at *$1*each: finch, my chemical romance, cursive,the used,mysquaredcircle,59 mins,story of the year,thursday,cesspit,takingbacksunday,coheed and cambria, brand new, funeral for a friend
desperate men do desperate things...
lost prophets- start something cd *$10*
acoustic guitar *$10*
studded belt *$15*
incubus - a crow left of the murder cd *$12*
oasis there and then live video cd *$10*
mesh cap *$5*
guitar casing *$10*
pins at *$1*each: finch, my chemical romance, cursive,the used,mysquaredcircle,59 mins,story of the year,thursday,cesspit,takingbacksunday,coheed and cambria, brand new, funeral for a friend
desperate men do desperate things...
Sunday, April 11, 2004
whoo maura of denali si one freaking babe. when i heard her voice I felt overwhelmed, caught up, spent. I wanted both to take it all in, in a lifesaving breath, and to let all of it go, in a heavy, soul-cleansing sob. haish... anyways. work yesterday was hectic. did go kart for the first time. and yeah i was nervous. really fucking nervous. but raj kumar adrian mutu helped me through and it went well. a heck load of accidents. and i almost got runover a few times. but all in all. very fulfilling. going to the gig in a few mins time. see ya at the rock show.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
choice of music:brand new- sic transit gloria
been spending lesser and lesser time online these past few days. i guess i should feel proud of it. i mean what do i do when im online anyways? just staring at the stupid screen and surfing the same old websites. so heH! working in a few hrs time. gonna go do the go kart for the first time. im not really excited about it. why? cause i hate trying new things.
urgh. theres a gig tomorrow. and i cant wait to go. gonna go catch zad's oi band. . the november iris. haha RIOT!
the drum god himself junaidi kusnong will be perfroming with doilm. MUSt see. MUSt see.
hoping the outing with shahrul, adi, dynn and han will be great. hope so. and yeah hello zoom 505. byebye $70.
this has been stupid entry. but whoever cares. love u alif.!!
been spending lesser and lesser time online these past few days. i guess i should feel proud of it. i mean what do i do when im online anyways? just staring at the stupid screen and surfing the same old websites. so heH! working in a few hrs time. gonna go do the go kart for the first time. im not really excited about it. why? cause i hate trying new things.
urgh. theres a gig tomorrow. and i cant wait to go. gonna go catch zad's oi band. . the november iris. haha RIOT!
the drum god himself junaidi kusnong will be perfroming with doilm. MUSt see. MUSt see.
hoping the outing with shahrul, adi, dynn and han will be great. hope so. and yeah hello zoom 505. byebye $70.
this has been stupid entry. but whoever cares. love u alif.!!
Friday, April 09, 2004
sometimes i wonder... a bunch of people calls me quiet yet another bunch tells me im way too loud, a bunch of people calls me funny yet another bunch tell me off for trying to be funny. hmmmz madness. who am i? o well shall find out..
another lame quiz. yeyness!
× · I N F O R M A T I O N · × ·
Name: rafiee
Single or taken: singlemingle
Sex: Male
Birthday: 11 june
Sign: gemini
Siblings: my sister
Hair color: black (natural is BEST!)
Eye color: blackish brown i tink. dunt really know
Height: 169cm
· × · R E L A T I O N S H I P S · × ·
Who are your best friends?: allen,fir,dan,din,alif,zack,
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: NO
· × · F A S H I O N | S T U F F · × ·
Where is your favorite place to shop: anywhere with cheap stuff
Any tattoos or piercings: Nopez
· × · S P E C I F I C S · × ·
Do you do drugs?: panadol ish best!
What kind of shampoo do you use?: anything that my mum buys
What are you most scared of?: god
What are you listening to right now?: hey mercedes - que shiraz
Who is the last person that called you?: urmz. my mum
Where do you want to get married?: at the beach
How many buddies are online right now?: 18
What would you change about yourself?: my rabbit teeth
?
· × · F A V O R I T E S · × ·
Color: black, white and grey ( currently in love with my blog colour though )
Food: ramlee burgers!!
Boys names: rafiee
Girls names: urh. sitikus. or watipusamalu. or whatever
Subjects in school: pe in sec school and snw in ite
Animals: humans
· × · H A V E | Y O U | E V E R · × ·
Given anyone a bath?: no
Smoked?: yes
Bungee jumped?: no, but would love to
Made yourself throw up?:when i pretend to be sick
Skinny dipped?: NO!!
Ever been in love?: define love...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: urgh no. im no sissyboy
Pictured your crush/bf naked?: heh.
Actually seen your crush/bf naked?: heh.
Cried when someone died?: yes
lied: yes
Fallen for your best friend?: nopez
Used someone?: no. i tink so. no
· × · C U R R E N T · × ·
Clothes: tampines secondary cca t-shirt
Music: slick shoes - darko
Make-up: im no sissy
Annoyance:grrrr lack of free time
Smell: chikcen wings
Desktop picture: jon chan
Book you're reading: urgh. no books. blame it on lack of time and money
CD in player: lost prohphets-start something
DVD in player: incubus- crow left of the murder free dvd
· × · L A S T | P E R S O N · × ·
You touched: mummy
hugged: gosh shahrul?
You IMed: zack.
You yelled at: my sister. i do dat everyday
You kissed: geee. Never been kissed. hurhur my mummy actually.
· × · A R E | Y O U · × ·
Understanding: very. though sometimes people dunno how to appreciate dat
Open-minded: yes
Arrogant: no of kos not. why should i be
Insecure: very
Hungry: yes
Smart: nobodys stupid so everybodys smart
Moody: everynight when im online i tend to get moody
Hard working: lazy
Organized: my room is a mess
Healthy: nopez
Shy: WOHOO!! wat an understatement
Difficult: guess so
Bored easily: yes indeed
Responsible: fuck dat
Obsessed: no.
Angry: nopez
Sad: no
Happy: no..
Hyper: well depends on the people im with
Trusting: yes
· × · W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A · × ·
Kill?: urmz. CRAIG WINN
slap: im not a violent person
Get really wasted with?: wtf
Get high with: You!
Talk to offline: all of my friends
Talk to online: shall not disclose
Sex it up with: JESSICA ALBA
· × · R A N D O M · × ·
In the morning I am: sleepy
All you need is: more TLC
Love is: a question for me
I dreamt about: being a rockstar
Sexual preference: animals
What do you notice first in the sex you're into: facial expression, legs and fashion
· × · W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R · × ·
Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or chocolate: snickers.
Tall or short: short
Fat or thin: thin
School or work: school
· W H O · × ·
Makes you laugh the most: the kids
you smile: the kids
Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: urh this is depressing
· × · D O | Y O U | E V E R · × ·
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: well yes. HAIZ.
Save conversations: NO
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: ahaha sometimes
wish you were younger: yes
Cried because someone said something to you?: no.
· × · N U M B E R · × ·
Of times I have had my heart broken: zero
Of hearts I have broken: zero i guess.
Of CD's I own: whoah. too many
Of scars on my body: one big one on the back of my head. the rest i donch know.
Of things that I regret: whoah. a whole damn lot.
· × · Y O U R | T H O U G H T S · × ·
I know: that i suck until mad.
I want: CANON POWERSHOT A80
I have: a pathetic life
I wish: that i was the 4th member of blink 182
I hate: assholes, fuckers, bitches, bastards,
I fear: god
I hear: never too late- self denial
I search: for the meaning of my life
I wonder: about that special person. hmmz who might you be?
I love: my band,my parents, my whole family and YOU!
another lame quiz. yeyness!
× · I N F O R M A T I O N · × ·
Name: rafiee
Single or taken: singlemingle
Sex: Male
Birthday: 11 june
Sign: gemini
Siblings: my sister
Hair color: black (natural is BEST!)
Eye color: blackish brown i tink. dunt really know
Height: 169cm
· × · R E L A T I O N S H I P S · × ·
Who are your best friends?: allen,fir,dan,din,alif,zack,
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: NO
· × · F A S H I O N | S T U F F · × ·
Where is your favorite place to shop: anywhere with cheap stuff
Any tattoos or piercings: Nopez
· × · S P E C I F I C S · × ·
Do you do drugs?: panadol ish best!
What kind of shampoo do you use?: anything that my mum buys
What are you most scared of?: god
What are you listening to right now?: hey mercedes - que shiraz
Who is the last person that called you?: urmz. my mum
Where do you want to get married?: at the beach
How many buddies are online right now?: 18
What would you change about yourself?: my rabbit teeth
?
· × · F A V O R I T E S · × ·
Color: black, white and grey ( currently in love with my blog colour though )
Food: ramlee burgers!!
Boys names: rafiee
Girls names: urh. sitikus. or watipusamalu. or whatever
Subjects in school: pe in sec school and snw in ite
Animals: humans
· × · H A V E | Y O U | E V E R · × ·
Given anyone a bath?: no
Smoked?: yes
Bungee jumped?: no, but would love to
Made yourself throw up?:when i pretend to be sick
Skinny dipped?: NO!!
Ever been in love?: define love...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: urgh no. im no sissyboy
Pictured your crush/bf naked?: heh.
Actually seen your crush/bf naked?: heh.
Cried when someone died?: yes
lied: yes
Fallen for your best friend?: nopez
Used someone?: no. i tink so. no
· × · C U R R E N T · × ·
Clothes: tampines secondary cca t-shirt
Music: slick shoes - darko
Make-up: im no sissy
Annoyance:grrrr lack of free time
Smell: chikcen wings
Desktop picture: jon chan
Book you're reading: urgh. no books. blame it on lack of time and money
CD in player: lost prohphets-start something
DVD in player: incubus- crow left of the murder free dvd
· × · L A S T | P E R S O N · × ·
You touched: mummy
hugged: gosh shahrul?
You IMed: zack.
You yelled at: my sister. i do dat everyday
You kissed: geee. Never been kissed. hurhur my mummy actually.
· × · A R E | Y O U · × ·
Understanding: very. though sometimes people dunno how to appreciate dat
Open-minded: yes
Arrogant: no of kos not. why should i be
Insecure: very
Hungry: yes
Smart: nobodys stupid so everybodys smart
Moody: everynight when im online i tend to get moody
Hard working: lazy
Organized: my room is a mess
Healthy: nopez
Shy: WOHOO!! wat an understatement
Difficult: guess so
Bored easily: yes indeed
Responsible: fuck dat
Obsessed: no.
Angry: nopez
Sad: no
Happy: no..
Hyper: well depends on the people im with
Trusting: yes
· × · W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A · × ·
Kill?: urmz. CRAIG WINN
slap: im not a violent person
Get really wasted with?: wtf
Get high with: You!
Talk to offline: all of my friends
Talk to online: shall not disclose
Sex it up with: JESSICA ALBA
· × · R A N D O M · × ·
In the morning I am: sleepy
All you need is: more TLC
Love is: a question for me
I dreamt about: being a rockstar
Sexual preference: animals
What do you notice first in the sex you're into: facial expression, legs and fashion
· × · W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R · × ·
Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or chocolate: snickers.
Tall or short: short
Fat or thin: thin
School or work: school
· W H O · × ·
Makes you laugh the most: the kids
you smile: the kids
Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: urh this is depressing
· × · D O | Y O U | E V E R · × ·
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: well yes. HAIZ.
Save conversations: NO
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: ahaha sometimes
wish you were younger: yes
Cried because someone said something to you?: no.
· × · N U M B E R · × ·
Of times I have had my heart broken: zero
Of hearts I have broken: zero i guess.
Of CD's I own: whoah. too many
Of scars on my body: one big one on the back of my head. the rest i donch know.
Of things that I regret: whoah. a whole damn lot.
· × · Y O U R | T H O U G H T S · × ·
I know: that i suck until mad.
I want: CANON POWERSHOT A80
I have: a pathetic life
I wish: that i was the 4th member of blink 182
I hate: assholes, fuckers, bitches, bastards,
I fear: god
I hear: never too late- self denial
I search: for the meaning of my life
I wonder: about that special person. hmmz who might you be?
I love: my band,my parents, my whole family and YOU!
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
well we got the slot. but so yeah underedge next gig will be on the 26th of may. will be playing with back by monday and good people association. a set of only 3 songs. hurhurhur. nvm tak yah stress stress.
am home now, have a 2 hour break from skool. so lepak at home for awhile listening to blink 182- anthem part 2. shall go back to skool for nwf in an hours time for some stupid phase test. confirm fail!
am home now, have a 2 hour break from skool. so lepak at home for awhile listening to blink 182- anthem part 2. shall go back to skool for nwf in an hours time for some stupid phase test. confirm fail!
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
wee todays audition went well. i guess so. the kids there were kind of impressed by my star. got soem superlatives from them and since they were total strangers i finally believe that my star is a nice song after all. heh o well a super sized THANKS to u-DYnn for taking the photos. go see them if u want. audition photos
watch out for back by monday and grand punk auto in the years too come. great bands that we auditioned with. heh anyways for those of u haven heard my star yet, feel free to dwl here----> mY right ASs! . so long
watch out for back by monday and grand punk auto in the years too come. great bands that we auditioned with. heh anyways for those of u haven heard my star yet, feel free to dwl here----> mY right ASs! . so long
Monday, April 05, 2004
supposed to go to skool. but i tink im sick. well i think so cause theres a big irritation in my throat. other than that its just a lame excuse for me not to go to skool. im still super shagged from saturday's pit. did a lot of walking. wanted to sleep but i cant, lots of things running through my mind. i sometimes forget girls are sensitive creatures. should watch what i say next time.
so yeah if wat zura said is true. your - ass will be performing in 2 weeks time at some pub or something. yeah! big fucking deal. were so gonna screw up again but i dun mind. tomorrow we have an audition or something at republic poly, its for some mini gig. no prob. i mean a set of 3 songs? well i dun really mind dat.
listening to oasis's be here now album. theyre an awesome band really. just love their old stuff so much. same cant be said about their new stuff. dont find anything interesting there wat with the lineup changes and all.
oasis - dont go away
a cold and frosty morning theres not a lot to say
about the things caught in my mind
and as the day was dawning my plane flew away
with all the things caught in my mind
and i wanna be there when you're...
coming down
and i wanna be there when you hit the ground...
so dont go away
say what you say
but say that you'll stay
forever and a day
in the time of my life
cos i need more time
yes i need more time
just to make things right
damn my situation and the games i have to play
with all the things caught in my mind
damn my education i cant find the words to say
about the things caught in my mind
me and you wats going on?
all we seem to know is hot to show
the feelings that are wrong..
so yeah if wat zura said is true. your - ass will be performing in 2 weeks time at some pub or something. yeah! big fucking deal. were so gonna screw up again but i dun mind. tomorrow we have an audition or something at republic poly, its for some mini gig. no prob. i mean a set of 3 songs? well i dun really mind dat.
listening to oasis's be here now album. theyre an awesome band really. just love their old stuff so much. same cant be said about their new stuff. dont find anything interesting there wat with the lineup changes and all.
oasis - dont go away
a cold and frosty morning theres not a lot to say
about the things caught in my mind
and as the day was dawning my plane flew away
with all the things caught in my mind
and i wanna be there when you're...
coming down
and i wanna be there when you hit the ground...
so dont go away
say what you say
but say that you'll stay
forever and a day
in the time of my life
cos i need more time
yes i need more time
just to make things right
damn my situation and the games i have to play
with all the things caught in my mind
damn my education i cant find the words to say
about the things caught in my mind
me and you wats going on?
all we seem to know is hot to show
the feelings that are wrong..
Sunday, April 04, 2004
my internet explorers is a piece of shit... shall not elaborate
pit was fun and tiring. shall not elaborate cause who the fuck wants to know? so yeah. yip-tee-do.
got this from massy's site so yeah just filled in this to fill up this stupid page.
10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:
1) blink 182
2) box car racer
3) plain sunset
4) the lost prophets
5) funeral for a friend
6) coldplay
7) oasis
8) hoobastank
9) marchtwelve
10) backstreet boys (honestly!)
//09 things you look forward to:
1) underedge's next gig
2) june holidays
3) getting married
4) jessica alba calling me
5) underedge performing in the warped tour
6) becoming a millionaire
7) taking over the world
8) falling in love
9) anybody calling me
//8 things you like to wear:
1) underpants
2) jeans
3) t-shirts
4) polo shirts
5) Chuck Taylors
6) caps
7) sandals.
8) 3/4 pants
//07 things that annoy you:
1) me.
2) my sis.
3) miNahs
4) fat minahs who tink they have a body like jessica alba.
5) mats
6) my internet fucking up on me
7) LER. fuck dat word.
//06 things you say most days:
1) cheebye
2) plabuto ar
3) HAHA cam SEEeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaak.
4) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
5) sial ar kau
6) siala bala
.
//05 things you do everyday:
1) blogging
2) surfing
3) bathing
4) eat and shit
5) Sleep!
//04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) mum>
2) dad
3) ****
4) you!!
//03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) american pie
2) american pie 2
3) american pie 3
//02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) immature- plain sunset
2) there is - box car racer
//01 person you could spend the rest of your
life with:
1) you!!
pit was fun and tiring. shall not elaborate cause who the fuck wants to know? so yeah. yip-tee-do.
got this from massy's site so yeah just filled in this to fill up this stupid page.
10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:
1) blink 182
2) box car racer
3) plain sunset
4) the lost prophets
5) funeral for a friend
6) coldplay
7) oasis
8) hoobastank
9) marchtwelve
10) backstreet boys (honestly!)
//09 things you look forward to:
1) underedge's next gig
2) june holidays
3) getting married
4) jessica alba calling me
5) underedge performing in the warped tour
6) becoming a millionaire
7) taking over the world
8) falling in love
9) anybody calling me
//8 things you like to wear:
1) underpants
2) jeans
3) t-shirts
4) polo shirts
5) Chuck Taylors
6) caps
7) sandals.
8) 3/4 pants
//07 things that annoy you:
1) me.
2) my sis.
3) miNahs
4) fat minahs who tink they have a body like jessica alba.
5) mats
6) my internet fucking up on me
7) LER. fuck dat word.
//06 things you say most days:
1) cheebye
2) plabuto ar
3) HAHA cam SEEeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaak.
4) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
5) sial ar kau
6) siala bala
.
//05 things you do everyday:
1) blogging
2) surfing
3) bathing
4) eat and shit
5) Sleep!
//04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) mum>
2) dad
3) ****
4) you!!
//03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) american pie
2) american pie 2
3) american pie 3
//02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) immature- plain sunset
2) there is - box car racer
//01 person you could spend the rest of your
life with:
1) you!!
Saturday, April 03, 2004
work was incredibly fun and relaxing. selsila is an awesome person to work with in the sense that shes the one who will make the initiative to start a conversation. and i had a ball of a time poking fun at her at every single chance. for example when she dropped her id card in the pool, when she told me her age, her aspiritions, well i poked fun at her everytime she told me something. not to mention i was called a bastard by her frequently but den again i didnt mind. we were laughing so hard at one point of time that our manager came to our station and asked us if we were together. and i was like wtf. and she was like wtf? so yeah wtf? haha no way man. shes like 2 years older den me and shes waiting for entrance to a university. so yeah haha but den again i dun mind. :p heh!
Friday, April 02, 2004
i miss jamming with first chapter. Really honestly do. The first chapter with zaid behind the vox, no offence to khus but zaid i felt was a better vocalist in the sense that he can scream and sing nicely and also he used to always crack me up with his stupid sum 41 jokes. but yea it had to end the way it were. when he left the band and wan joined his brothers in arms, everything went downhill after dat. there was hardly time to jam what with tweet having no direction and rika and me being with underdge. so yeah kind of impossible to get together. and when tweet left the band it was the last straw for me. i felt as though when tweet left. the purpose of first chapter was gone. there was no point in continuing so yeah. but the fact is i miss jamming with them. with first chapter. there was never a hint of seriusness. jammin was always filled with laughter. quite a contrast sometimes with underedge. no offence to them. but sometimes jamming tends to be too serius. but that is another story. so yeah haish well good luck to fir and wan and khus. hope u guys can go far.
friendsters being a bitch. i had written dynn a very very long testmonial but when i submiited it. friendster greeted me with a user id not found. i mean like wat the fuck. sorry dynn!! blame it on that lame site. o well working 2morrow. hpe everything goes well
friendsters being a bitch. i had written dynn a very very long testmonial but when i submiited it. friendster greeted me with a user id not found. i mean like wat the fuck. sorry dynn!! blame it on that lame site. o well working 2morrow. hpe everything goes well
Thursday, April 01, 2004
im pretty much agitated right now. this is of course normally how i feel at an hour like this. its the time when i would just sit back and tink about the day's events. nothing is worth mentioning here in this blog so i shall ramble on how fucking irritated i am with some people on msn. they dun realise it but some words they just type out fucking makes me pissed.
examples being : " ... " and " LER " ah these two words or characters might result in ur msn conversation with me being flooded with expletives. well maybe. cause i know that will most probably be something that i would regret for the rest of my fucking lame life. i need more friends. i dun wanna lose em
its just in times like this u need someone who could understand you and lend u a listening ear. unfortunately for me none of the guys could. i mean no offence to the pp kids but i seriusly dun have anyone that i could call a bestfriend. someone who knows me inside out, someone who knows how i react to wat is happening around and i wish i could have. i wish i could jsut chat soembody up and whine about my problmes but den again who am i kidding ? they have their own lives to attend to, why should they lose several minits of their time so dat they could listen to me ramble and whine away.
im pissed off. and im not sure about what. well at least i can count on music and my blog to be there for me when i need them the most.
immature is the best song for the month of march. fuck ur april foolness
" u know i coudlnt make u mine.. so i had to let you go...."
examples being : " ... " and " LER " ah these two words or characters might result in ur msn conversation with me being flooded with expletives. well maybe. cause i know that will most probably be something that i would regret for the rest of my fucking lame life. i need more friends. i dun wanna lose em
its just in times like this u need someone who could understand you and lend u a listening ear. unfortunately for me none of the guys could. i mean no offence to the pp kids but i seriusly dun have anyone that i could call a bestfriend. someone who knows me inside out, someone who knows how i react to wat is happening around and i wish i could have. i wish i could jsut chat soembody up and whine about my problmes but den again who am i kidding ? they have their own lives to attend to, why should they lose several minits of their time so dat they could listen to me ramble and whine away.
im pissed off. and im not sure about what. well at least i can count on music and my blog to be there for me when i need them the most.
immature is the best song for the month of march. fuck ur april foolness
" u know i coudlnt make u mine.. so i had to let you go...."
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
whoah. singapore 1-2 japan. hows dat for a scoreline??? certainly surprised me but i had sort of a feeling that japan gave singapore way too much face cause from wat i saw.. japan could have easily gotten more den 5 goals considering how many chances they waste. but all in all... congrats to singapore on a job well done. im guessing the papers will be filled with headlines about how singapore football is heading into the right direction and all.
yeah right? malaysia will come over and kick their asses again, again and again...
anyhows #emo channel got taken over by some asshole from the band madshack i tink.. wat an idiot!! wat is he trying to prove and he had the cheek to ask us to grow up??? fuck off.wat a good way to get urself involve in the scene o well. some people just cant stop digging their own graves.
yeah right? malaysia will come over and kick their asses again, again and again...
anyhows #emo channel got taken over by some asshole from the band madshack i tink.. wat an idiot!! wat is he trying to prove and he had the cheek to ask us to grow up??? fuck off.wat a good way to get urself involve in the scene o well. some people just cant stop digging their own graves.
came to skool early today so as to escape saturday duty. kind of like an achievement considering that i have consistently woken up half an hour before skool starts. so now im doing some linux installation and i have no FRIGGIN idea. okie nieways yesterday's chatting session at #emo channel really reminded me of the times when #kubur was alive and well. there were a hell lot people in that channel. I mean i would purposely go back home early so dat i can chat with the assholes. it was really fun. but then we all grew up and got tired of chatting. just like we got tired of playing counter strike. wooo yeah we would blow huge amount of money just to get 2-3 hrs of lan gaming. ha ha those were the days.
to the pp assholes.... biler nak main game lagik??
getting my pay in a few days time. like yeah man!! hoping it will be enough to buy me a digital camera. not just a camera. a good one. urmz so... okie okie i need to go now...
to the pp assholes.... biler nak main game lagik??
getting my pay in a few days time. like yeah man!! hoping it will be enough to buy me a digital camera. not just a camera. a good one. urmz so... okie okie i need to go now...
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
underedge - no title
i'll call your name
and wonder if you'll ever answer..
going desperate
your scent is fading away...
i feel so far....
and i feel so distant....
its like your faceless to me
can't u see im withering....
its a long way home and i cant see
my futures right there in front of me
where do i go from here
these dreams dissapear
intertwining paths forever lost without you
darkened skies you shine right through...
and i cant go on without you in my life..
well im sorry but i cant help it
these tears has flowed on far too long
deep inside u know im failing, so why do you choose to break the bond?
u left me alone...
heh.. this song is stuck in my head... one of the best songs i have written.. but yeah we didnt play this song too well at vibes... hehe o well...
i'll call your name
and wonder if you'll ever answer..
going desperate
your scent is fading away...
i feel so far....
and i feel so distant....
its like your faceless to me
can't u see im withering....
its a long way home and i cant see
my futures right there in front of me
where do i go from here
these dreams dissapear
intertwining paths forever lost without you
darkened skies you shine right through...
and i cant go on without you in my life..
well im sorry but i cant help it
these tears has flowed on far too long
deep inside u know im failing, so why do you choose to break the bond?
u left me alone...
heh.. this song is stuck in my head... one of the best songs i have written.. but yeah we didnt play this song too well at vibes... hehe o well...
Monday, March 29, 2004
hmmz its sad but true, ive made up my mind. seriusly though, i thought that the band had potential. i was already picturing us playing at a 3 letter sessions type gig one day but den i tot we were already cursed when he said those words. first gig, first band, first chapter. and yeah thats where the story ends for me. the first chapter. hope everything goes well for them. good luck for your future endeavours.
thx for the memories.....
thx for the memories.....
Sunday, March 28, 2004
marchtwelve - telephone
my finger remembers the buttons to press
even after i tried so hard
to erase your number from memory
and failed to detect the need to forget
the hurt
the urge
to hear the voice
that for many times had kept me going
and when i get too tired
i fall asleep with the phone clutched close to me
its ringing constantly
i doubt that anybodys picking up
but then i hear a voice on the line
it wasnt what i needed to forget
the hurt
the urge
to hear the voice
that for many times had kept me going
and when i get too tired
i fall asleeep with the phone clutched close to me
i want to forget the memory
i need to be away from misery
(pick up the telephone )
i want to forget to pain
i need the sun more than i need the rain.
my finger remembers the buttons to press
even after i tried so hard
to erase your number from memory
and failed to detect the need to forget
the hurt
the urge
to hear the voice
that for many times had kept me going
and when i get too tired
i fall asleep with the phone clutched close to me
its ringing constantly
i doubt that anybodys picking up
but then i hear a voice on the line
it wasnt what i needed to forget
the hurt
the urge
to hear the voice
that for many times had kept me going
and when i get too tired
i fall asleeep with the phone clutched close to me
i want to forget the memory
i need to be away from misery
(pick up the telephone )
i want to forget to pain
i need the sun more than i need the rain.
we sucked just now. honestly we sucked. i made a hellot of mistakes.. and i wish we could have played find a way a little better.. argh dammit.. sorry jon!!!! argh!!!! madness..
i simply loved the people i hanged out with today, fir,dan,alif,aliff,allen,azura,lina,dynn,din,zack,taufiq,lukman and hmmz there were a lot.. cant possibly remember all... but nvm.. the fact is i had fun throughout the gig... the music was great. a losing streak, dead end, pop whizee, shoe size nine blew my brains out.. all of them were suiperb!!! learned a lot just standing and looking at them.
so niehows.. the whole group ended up at s-11 after the gig ended... me,zack, taufiq,dynn,din,alip,allen,aliff, dan, lukman... there was lizard, tasya, sammy and his girl, so yeah.. said hello... den we caught leeds vs birmingham live... which was a stupid match cause leeds lost.. but nvm.. it was very kecoh man with they all... had a fucking fun time.. laughing my guts out at every single little joke. superb lar... had so much fun... wish i could hang out with this particular group of people.. like the extended pp.. heh.. haish.. weeee wishful thinking yeah?? argh but nieways went back home late... got scolded.. but nvm.. dat cant take away the super fun that i had... love yea guys untill mad...!!!!
i simply loved the people i hanged out with today, fir,dan,alif,aliff,allen,azura,lina,dynn,din,zack,taufiq,lukman and hmmz there were a lot.. cant possibly remember all... but nvm.. the fact is i had fun throughout the gig... the music was great. a losing streak, dead end, pop whizee, shoe size nine blew my brains out.. all of them were suiperb!!! learned a lot just standing and looking at them.
so niehows.. the whole group ended up at s-11 after the gig ended... me,zack, taufiq,dynn,din,alip,allen,aliff, dan, lukman... there was lizard, tasya, sammy and his girl, so yeah.. said hello... den we caught leeds vs birmingham live... which was a stupid match cause leeds lost.. but nvm.. it was very kecoh man with they all... had a fucking fun time.. laughing my guts out at every single little joke. superb lar... had so much fun... wish i could hang out with this particular group of people.. like the extended pp.. heh.. haish.. weeee wishful thinking yeah?? argh but nieways went back home late... got scolded.. but nvm.. dat cant take away the super fun that i had... love yea guys untill mad...!!!!
Friday, March 26, 2004
Thursday, March 25, 2004
hmmz something else i like to add which irritates me alot
have u guys ever been turned of by people saying that they hate poseurs in the I hate section of their blog. I mean doesnt it ever occur to them that they themselves might be poseurs?
something for u guys to tink about. heh and yeah name taken fucking rulez!
have u guys ever been turned of by people saying that they hate poseurs in the I hate section of their blog. I mean doesnt it ever occur to them that they themselves might be poseurs?
something for u guys to tink about. heh and yeah name taken fucking rulez!
been awhile since ive blogged. i mean really really blogged. Last few entrys were typed down just for the sake of updating. Guess my life isnt worth writing about.
Read massy's blog and yeah it does really suck to have people diss and cuss you online. No matter how nice you are to people, there are some idiots who dunt give a fuck. The net is littered with them. At audioreload, band sites, blogs, literally everywhere. I for one dun give a shit. say wat u wanna say. im fucking ignorant.
Feel really sorry though for her and apis but its something that some people might have to get used to if theyre writing stuff about their personal lives. Thats why having a blog is kind of risk. It lets people whom u dont even know, read about your life. and they will of course, make automatic assumptions.
most people i know in real life are different from their personality online. I know dat for a fact. I mean an absolutely emo,sad, pathetic bugger who complains to you everynight on msn might be the most cheerful person in real life. An outgoing or bubbly person on msn could be as quiet as a door mouse
so yeah dun put ur trust in someone behind a computer.
especially a person like me. heh.
i have a maths test tomorrow so im gonna hit the books now.
reply to the taggers: shaw tee- haha no no u mean the sun is getting hotter. im dark until mad
linda- hello
alif - discuss ur nenepop lar
xthrowdowx- ye ye discuss this sat
tweet - yeah emo sucks, so does everything else
sinaran kejayaan- yea yea bawah block!serius!
her- yeah your linked too!
ok bye??
Read massy's blog and yeah it does really suck to have people diss and cuss you online. No matter how nice you are to people, there are some idiots who dunt give a fuck. The net is littered with them. At audioreload, band sites, blogs, literally everywhere. I for one dun give a shit. say wat u wanna say. im fucking ignorant.
Feel really sorry though for her and apis but its something that some people might have to get used to if theyre writing stuff about their personal lives. Thats why having a blog is kind of risk. It lets people whom u dont even know, read about your life. and they will of course, make automatic assumptions.
most people i know in real life are different from their personality online. I know dat for a fact. I mean an absolutely emo,sad, pathetic bugger who complains to you everynight on msn might be the most cheerful person in real life. An outgoing or bubbly person on msn could be as quiet as a door mouse
so yeah dun put ur trust in someone behind a computer.
especially a person like me. heh.
i have a maths test tomorrow so im gonna hit the books now.
reply to the taggers: shaw tee- haha no no u mean the sun is getting hotter. im dark until mad
linda- hello
alif - discuss ur nenepop lar
xthrowdowx- ye ye discuss this sat
tweet - yeah emo sucks, so does everything else
sinaran kejayaan- yea yea bawah block!serius!
her- yeah your linked too!
ok bye??
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Monday, March 22, 2004
feeling so hyper right now but at the same time super shagged. Jamming went well... amazing how time flies when ur having fun. played find a way. A song i never thought i could play but it turned out alright. But if u ask me. I would honestly say we are not prepared for the gig this sat. but nvm. heh. ok super tired shall sleep now.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
just updating for the sake of updating.. work was a bore, got lost in sengkang while on the way to hafiz's, finished the stupid swe project which i knew nothing about, went to compass point, got lost on the way back from compass point, reached home at 2200 hrs, watched man yoo beat hotspurs 3-0, watched blade 2, chatted for a while, updating blog. updated blog. goodnights.
Friday, March 19, 2004
work was 'happening' yesterday. Honestly was. Had a lot of fun with naim, baqir and bunch. bunch fell into the water twice well not his whole body but both his legs. One for each time. And it was fucking hilarious but yeah MAintAin CooLnEss yea?? hahaha.
Didnt go to the mosh launch cause i was given overtime. Which was fine by me cause i needed the extra money. I mean heck it was ska anyway, so i guess i didnt really miss much. Got to do the flume ride!! albeit ticketing but sangeetha was kind enough to teach me the controls i even got to take the ride for testing. it was freaking high... and the plunge was punishing.. urh... lost my heart for a while there haha but yeah. i also did a matrix kinda manoever in front of the guests. well as u know the flume ride has 2 plat forms. one for exiting and one for entering. it is seperated in the middle by a conveyer belt which moves the boats. so i was crossing the entering platform to the exit platform to basically brief the guests. so when i stepped on to the conveyer belt. sangeetha accidentally moved the conveyor belt so i spinned 360 degrees, fell onto the platform and immediately got back up in one sweeping move. wah madness... hahah didnt know i could do dat..
*maintain coolness*
nieways im now a big fan of alif's blog. i mean seriously i tot all he wrote in there was crap but now hor.. hehe yeah really love it.. k im off to prayers now.. see yea guys later..
Didnt go to the mosh launch cause i was given overtime. Which was fine by me cause i needed the extra money. I mean heck it was ska anyway, so i guess i didnt really miss much. Got to do the flume ride!! albeit ticketing but sangeetha was kind enough to teach me the controls i even got to take the ride for testing. it was freaking high... and the plunge was punishing.. urh... lost my heart for a while there haha but yeah. i also did a matrix kinda manoever in front of the guests. well as u know the flume ride has 2 plat forms. one for exiting and one for entering. it is seperated in the middle by a conveyer belt which moves the boats. so i was crossing the entering platform to the exit platform to basically brief the guests. so when i stepped on to the conveyer belt. sangeetha accidentally moved the conveyor belt so i spinned 360 degrees, fell onto the platform and immediately got back up in one sweeping move. wah madness... hahah didnt know i could do dat..
*maintain coolness*
nieways im now a big fan of alif's blog. i mean seriously i tot all he wrote in there was crap but now hor.. hehe yeah really love it.. k im off to prayers now.. see yea guys later..
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
todays outing with han was refreshing.. really really refreshing... i mean when u go out with someone new, there are like new topics to talk about, new things to learn and even though me and han have been friends for 2 years already... ive only met her a few times. haha so yea considered new oso. And heck she had a lot of things to talk about so yea really enjoyed her company.... thx! whooPz
Monday, March 15, 2004
i have a distinct feeling that somebody is ignoring me. donno.. maybe im jumping to conclusions but den again... o well just miss her company dats all...
decided to go the ska fest after all and it was boring ar... i came late and saw only cesspit. They were great but somehow i remember having more fun at the cesspit/59mins cd launch several moons ago. the crowd was better ar. 4 bands doesnt really constitute the gig being called Ska fest. would have been been way better if zakko's band played. Plan to fool ring a bell?? heh. tired of life. already byebye...
decided to go the ska fest after all and it was boring ar... i came late and saw only cesspit. They were great but somehow i remember having more fun at the cesspit/59mins cd launch several moons ago. the crowd was better ar. 4 bands doesnt really constitute the gig being called Ska fest. would have been been way better if zakko's band played. Plan to fool ring a bell?? heh. tired of life. already byebye...
Saturday, March 13, 2004
sending out my condolences to huda and her family. Sorry for your loss.....
at work time flew past extraordinaryily fast... my only regret though was it didnt rain.but heck now den its raining...
eating mint ice cream now while lsitening to blink 182's enema of the state. I got reunited with it yesterday. like after 2 years or so of finding it. Donno if it was dat long but heck sure it felt dat way. *mental note* NEVER lend any more cds to friends yang takleh harap!) ok go!!
anyways session was great yesterday. well i tink so.. haha. 4/5 of your- ass came.. bassist not included.. hurhur... Managed to work out several songs. azura was limping because of an injury sustained in a soccer match.. and i was like.. hurhur wah madness happening siolz...!!! ahha east hammers got team to challenge already.. haha so merepekz lar... k... so during a break.. i sat down with din and i looked up at the sky.yes ar i dpt TGK STARS... hurhur but den ar... zura corrected me dat some were satellites.. in fact all the twinkly twinkly stars are satellites... so it was lame lar..
nieways... i was really disgusted by all those couples exchanging saliva at the esplanade.. i mean cmon lar.. go do it in behind some bushes or sumthing.. not in full view of the public. even a lesbian couple were doing it. ARGH!!! in times like this i wish i had my own dat i could smooch... haiz... http://friendster.com .....
at work time flew past extraordinaryily fast... my only regret though was it didnt rain.but heck now den its raining...
eating mint ice cream now while lsitening to blink 182's enema of the state. I got reunited with it yesterday. like after 2 years or so of finding it. Donno if it was dat long but heck sure it felt dat way. *mental note* NEVER lend any more cds to friends yang takleh harap!) ok go!!
anyways session was great yesterday. well i tink so.. haha. 4/5 of your- ass came.. bassist not included.. hurhur... Managed to work out several songs. azura was limping because of an injury sustained in a soccer match.. and i was like.. hurhur wah madness happening siolz...!!! ahha east hammers got team to challenge already.. haha so merepekz lar... k... so during a break.. i sat down with din and i looked up at the sky.yes ar i dpt TGK STARS... hurhur but den ar... zura corrected me dat some were satellites.. in fact all the twinkly twinkly stars are satellites... so it was lame lar..
nieways... i was really disgusted by all those couples exchanging saliva at the esplanade.. i mean cmon lar.. go do it in behind some bushes or sumthing.. not in full view of the public. even a lesbian couple were doing it. ARGH!!! in times like this i wish i had my own dat i could smooch... haiz... http://friendster.com .....
this is a very interesting article dat i got from someone's blog. it kept me company for quite a while... if u guys donno me dat well. I reallly love to read. I would buy a book and keep reading it day ang night till its over. The only reason i stopped reading nowadays is because my library card got revoked.. so.. heh happy reading
The Racist's Apology
by Alfian Saat
Introduction
This is an email written by 24 year old Singaporean writer Alfian Sa'at. He had earlier written to the artscommunity e-group saying that he was willing to hold creative writing workshops, but only for "indigenous Singaporeans". Somebody asked the obvious, and this is his reply.
I walked out of the house this morning and feared I had become a racist. I passed by a newsstand and a magazine tells me about 50% of the world's most beautiful people are from the West, 10% from Singapore, 45% from HongKong and Taiwan and 5% from India and Malaysia. A JC Decaux billboard says that a lot of people read their ads and they have faces to prove it: Chinese people of various ages and occupations and genders. There are some which show non-Chinese people but they don't have the dignity of individual names, and they are put under the heading 'The Changing Face of Singapore'.
This can mean that perhaps the media is using more non-Chinese people in their ads (which I don't see) or that Singapore's demographic makeup is being altered by the arrival of other races (which I am not aware of, historically). I take a bus and TV Mobile is screening a Taiwanese variety programme. A Singaporean beauty contestant wears a cheongsam as her national costume and asks for an interpreter to translate her replies from Mandarin. The Speak Mandarin campaign informs me of what assets are missing from my life.
Tanya Chua's music video comes on and I unconsciously tally the number of Malay people that appear; I have been doing this for some time now, when I was in JC there was a 'My Singapore' music video which showed images of corporate-looking Chinese women walking through the CBD and Malay women in factory uniforms walking through a bus interchange. Tanya Chua's 'Where I Belong' shows three instances of Malay people populating the landcsape: a husband and wife riding a scooter; a father and son on a bicycle, the son carrying a box one presumes is filled with curry puffs or goreng
pisang, and a group of Malay youths playing soccer in a housing estate ghetto so rundown, it looks like an opposition ward being denied of upgrading, or one of those satellite towns built when Jurong swamps were still being filled.
But perhaps this is an improvement over other images: the satay man, the songbird owner, the mee rebus Makcik, the Malay bride and groom getting married in gold-embroidered finery (and situated on a dais, we Malays like to call them 'royalty for a day', playing the illusion of being king and queen in a country where the royal bloodline has been evicted from their home and told that the ruins of their palace will be converted into a museum).
I think about what Sang Nila Utama really did when he threw his crown into the sea to calm the raging storm; whether the gales spoke to his inner ear: 'if you want to live on the island you must surrender all memory of having once been a prince'. At the Sentosa Merlion there are signs that say that Sang Nila himself saw the Merlion rising from the waters, a fact that the Sejarah Melayu, the Malay Annals, failed to mention. Evidently there is someone called 'Sang Nila' somewhere in the executive committee of the Singapore Tourist Promotion Board.
At the foot of the Raffles statue in Boat Quay there is an inscription that says the man's genius transformed a 'sleepy fishing village' into the modern metropolis it is today, this at the foot of a man who recorded in his journals how he saw the tombs of the Malay kings, and inscriptions on a fortress wall, when he first landed: evidence of an empire, of civilisation.
In an interview a doyenne of Singapore theatre laments that all Singaporeans are 'cultural orphans', including the Malays, because they migrated from Malaysia and Indonesia, and that makes them immigrants too, no matter that one can take a sampan from Johor to Singapore.
I walk through a park in Tampines and see Chinese boys playing basketball at the court and Malay boys playing soccer on the field; I am comforted that my complete uselessness at ball games has prevented me from taking either side, has by default made me a conscientious objector to such disturbing polarities. In the army a sergeant major never called be by my name; I was called 'Melayu', which I suppose was better than 'Ah-Neh', used to address the Indians in the platoon. I remember a fellow Malay platoon mate who told me to give it my all when I was fasting, this was to prevent anyone from saying that we could use religion as an excuse for our weakness. He was eventually posted to the infantry (not logistics or engineers, much less the Navy or Airforce) and I used to imagine him burning up his pre-fasting morning meal to be the first to charge up the hill, yelling the pain of hunger and the pain of being different. The Malay staff sergeant in Officer Cadet School gave me a lot of shit just
to overcompensate, to show everyone that he was not into any form of racial favouritism. I became a victim of the sidelong glances he made as he watched me doing mypushups, those eyes constantly seeking approval from the eyes of the majority.
I see a schoolgirl from a madrasah wearing a tudung on the MRT and she is filling in the pictures in her colouring book. There are many choices among her colour pencils which she can use for skin, but she will use orange, and colour lightly, not brown or black. I have seen her schoolmates before, eyeing branded scoolbags at pasar malams, wearing branded sports shoes, like every other kid. I want to go up to her and hug her, and tell her how her tudung is not just a symbol of modesty, but a symbol of inscrutability. That layer of cloth makes her suspicious to others, it can be used to smuggle in a grenade or an agenda, so she will never get a frontline desk job, she will be expected to hang around with other tudung-wearing women in the university. I think about the fathers who sent their daughters to schools in tudung and reflect on how the media has framed them as shit-stirrers rather than citizens who practised their right to civil disobedience, the same way Gandhi fasted, or Rosa Parks refused to sit at her negroes-only seat on the segregated bus. If I can tell the girl one thing, it is 'integration is not assimilation', or 'tolerance is a failure in understanding' even though it is something she will take time to understand.
I think also of the men who filmed different locations in Singapore with the heinous intent of planting bombs. Did they not consider the various innocent Singaporean lives that could have been claimed by what they were about to do? And I wonder if they had already chosen another country to live in; a country in which they do not have to face a creeping sense of alienation, of redundancy. And I am not talking about an Islamic country, not Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia or anywhere else, but an afterlife paradise, where everyone is equal in the eyes of God, where wearing a sarong or having a beard does not immediately make you a proto-terrorist. Or perhaps a country that exists in their minds, nurtured by a growing sense of insularity and isolation, where they walk the streets and everyone else is just a ghost, in whose dead eyes they cannot find any light of empathy or understanding.
Once someone told me: 'But the government is bending over backwards to accommodate you Malays.' I smiled and wanted to ask him if it wasn't the other way round, that the Malays are made to bend forward to be fucked senseless. Another time a journalist asked if the statistical evidence of 'progress' shows that Malays are being given the same opportunities as everyone else. I told her that statistics don't do shit for me, as someone who has to live day by day as a Malay person in this country. I told her one Malay Air Force pilot poster boy, and a few bar charts and graphs, don't make me feel more at home. The only thing they do is to convince non-Malays that the country they live in is truly multiracial, that there are no tensions beneath the veneer of newsprint and newscasts and the rosy speeches of Malay MP's.
I have always believed in multi-racialism. I can say with utmost confidence that I have more friends who are non-Malay than those who are. And I mean real friends, who I confide in, who I've shared many things with, who I do love dearly. And yet, of late, I have the feeling that alot of the things I'm saying, a lot of this talk about alienation and marginalisation, only feeds subconsciously into their sense of how fortunate they are to be born into the status quo. I have written a poem before where I say, 'But more than that we prayed for ourselves,/treading the rosary of our blessings,/for what is pity without thanks for/the opportunity for such pity?' And sometimes I feel as if the more my voice is raised on the fast-eclipsing fate of the minority, the more it feeds into the majority's smugness and arrogance about their assured place in the sun. And this only makes me feel more powerless than if I had kept silent.
So I say now, forgive me if you think my desire to work with my own people marks me out as a racist. Forgive me if you think that my preferences are actually prejudices. Forgive me for retreating into something one can so easily call 'cultural chauvinism'. And I will forgive you for thinking that this person writing this isn't the Alfian that you know, that he has always been moderate and liberal, and I will forgive you if you look at me differently the next time I meet you. For some time already I have felt that as a Malay writer writing in English I have had to carry the burden of articulating so many unvoiced concerns. And the responsibilities associated with this are frightening. I just think it is time I pass on whatever skills I have to other Malay people, so we may tell our stories to those who want to hear them, even though they are stories of loss and loneliness and accidents of birth.
hmmz i donno wat to say lar huhr.. this issue.. has been going on far too long.. but this alfian saat rulez.. shall go find out more about his works... anyways working later.. so shall sleep now.. goodnytez...
The Racist's Apology
by Alfian Saat
Introduction
This is an email written by 24 year old Singaporean writer Alfian Sa'at. He had earlier written to the artscommunity e-group saying that he was willing to hold creative writing workshops, but only for "indigenous Singaporeans". Somebody asked the obvious, and this is his reply.
I walked out of the house this morning and feared I had become a racist. I passed by a newsstand and a magazine tells me about 50% of the world's most beautiful people are from the West, 10% from Singapore, 45% from HongKong and Taiwan and 5% from India and Malaysia. A JC Decaux billboard says that a lot of people read their ads and they have faces to prove it: Chinese people of various ages and occupations and genders. There are some which show non-Chinese people but they don't have the dignity of individual names, and they are put under the heading 'The Changing Face of Singapore'.
This can mean that perhaps the media is using more non-Chinese people in their ads (which I don't see) or that Singapore's demographic makeup is being altered by the arrival of other races (which I am not aware of, historically). I take a bus and TV Mobile is screening a Taiwanese variety programme. A Singaporean beauty contestant wears a cheongsam as her national costume and asks for an interpreter to translate her replies from Mandarin. The Speak Mandarin campaign informs me of what assets are missing from my life.
Tanya Chua's music video comes on and I unconsciously tally the number of Malay people that appear; I have been doing this for some time now, when I was in JC there was a 'My Singapore' music video which showed images of corporate-looking Chinese women walking through the CBD and Malay women in factory uniforms walking through a bus interchange. Tanya Chua's 'Where I Belong' shows three instances of Malay people populating the landcsape: a husband and wife riding a scooter; a father and son on a bicycle, the son carrying a box one presumes is filled with curry puffs or goreng
pisang, and a group of Malay youths playing soccer in a housing estate ghetto so rundown, it looks like an opposition ward being denied of upgrading, or one of those satellite towns built when Jurong swamps were still being filled.
But perhaps this is an improvement over other images: the satay man, the songbird owner, the mee rebus Makcik, the Malay bride and groom getting married in gold-embroidered finery (and situated on a dais, we Malays like to call them 'royalty for a day', playing the illusion of being king and queen in a country where the royal bloodline has been evicted from their home and told that the ruins of their palace will be converted into a museum).
I think about what Sang Nila Utama really did when he threw his crown into the sea to calm the raging storm; whether the gales spoke to his inner ear: 'if you want to live on the island you must surrender all memory of having once been a prince'. At the Sentosa Merlion there are signs that say that Sang Nila himself saw the Merlion rising from the waters, a fact that the Sejarah Melayu, the Malay Annals, failed to mention. Evidently there is someone called 'Sang Nila' somewhere in the executive committee of the Singapore Tourist Promotion Board.
At the foot of the Raffles statue in Boat Quay there is an inscription that says the man's genius transformed a 'sleepy fishing village' into the modern metropolis it is today, this at the foot of a man who recorded in his journals how he saw the tombs of the Malay kings, and inscriptions on a fortress wall, when he first landed: evidence of an empire, of civilisation.
In an interview a doyenne of Singapore theatre laments that all Singaporeans are 'cultural orphans', including the Malays, because they migrated from Malaysia and Indonesia, and that makes them immigrants too, no matter that one can take a sampan from Johor to Singapore.
I walk through a park in Tampines and see Chinese boys playing basketball at the court and Malay boys playing soccer on the field; I am comforted that my complete uselessness at ball games has prevented me from taking either side, has by default made me a conscientious objector to such disturbing polarities. In the army a sergeant major never called be by my name; I was called 'Melayu', which I suppose was better than 'Ah-Neh', used to address the Indians in the platoon. I remember a fellow Malay platoon mate who told me to give it my all when I was fasting, this was to prevent anyone from saying that we could use religion as an excuse for our weakness. He was eventually posted to the infantry (not logistics or engineers, much less the Navy or Airforce) and I used to imagine him burning up his pre-fasting morning meal to be the first to charge up the hill, yelling the pain of hunger and the pain of being different. The Malay staff sergeant in Officer Cadet School gave me a lot of shit just
to overcompensate, to show everyone that he was not into any form of racial favouritism. I became a victim of the sidelong glances he made as he watched me doing mypushups, those eyes constantly seeking approval from the eyes of the majority.
I see a schoolgirl from a madrasah wearing a tudung on the MRT and she is filling in the pictures in her colouring book. There are many choices among her colour pencils which she can use for skin, but she will use orange, and colour lightly, not brown or black. I have seen her schoolmates before, eyeing branded scoolbags at pasar malams, wearing branded sports shoes, like every other kid. I want to go up to her and hug her, and tell her how her tudung is not just a symbol of modesty, but a symbol of inscrutability. That layer of cloth makes her suspicious to others, it can be used to smuggle in a grenade or an agenda, so she will never get a frontline desk job, she will be expected to hang around with other tudung-wearing women in the university. I think about the fathers who sent their daughters to schools in tudung and reflect on how the media has framed them as shit-stirrers rather than citizens who practised their right to civil disobedience, the same way Gandhi fasted, or Rosa Parks refused to sit at her negroes-only seat on the segregated bus. If I can tell the girl one thing, it is 'integration is not assimilation', or 'tolerance is a failure in understanding' even though it is something she will take time to understand.
I think also of the men who filmed different locations in Singapore with the heinous intent of planting bombs. Did they not consider the various innocent Singaporean lives that could have been claimed by what they were about to do? And I wonder if they had already chosen another country to live in; a country in which they do not have to face a creeping sense of alienation, of redundancy. And I am not talking about an Islamic country, not Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia or anywhere else, but an afterlife paradise, where everyone is equal in the eyes of God, where wearing a sarong or having a beard does not immediately make you a proto-terrorist. Or perhaps a country that exists in their minds, nurtured by a growing sense of insularity and isolation, where they walk the streets and everyone else is just a ghost, in whose dead eyes they cannot find any light of empathy or understanding.
Once someone told me: 'But the government is bending over backwards to accommodate you Malays.' I smiled and wanted to ask him if it wasn't the other way round, that the Malays are made to bend forward to be fucked senseless. Another time a journalist asked if the statistical evidence of 'progress' shows that Malays are being given the same opportunities as everyone else. I told her that statistics don't do shit for me, as someone who has to live day by day as a Malay person in this country. I told her one Malay Air Force pilot poster boy, and a few bar charts and graphs, don't make me feel more at home. The only thing they do is to convince non-Malays that the country they live in is truly multiracial, that there are no tensions beneath the veneer of newsprint and newscasts and the rosy speeches of Malay MP's.
I have always believed in multi-racialism. I can say with utmost confidence that I have more friends who are non-Malay than those who are. And I mean real friends, who I confide in, who I've shared many things with, who I do love dearly. And yet, of late, I have the feeling that alot of the things I'm saying, a lot of this talk about alienation and marginalisation, only feeds subconsciously into their sense of how fortunate they are to be born into the status quo. I have written a poem before where I say, 'But more than that we prayed for ourselves,/treading the rosary of our blessings,/for what is pity without thanks for/the opportunity for such pity?' And sometimes I feel as if the more my voice is raised on the fast-eclipsing fate of the minority, the more it feeds into the majority's smugness and arrogance about their assured place in the sun. And this only makes me feel more powerless than if I had kept silent.
So I say now, forgive me if you think my desire to work with my own people marks me out as a racist. Forgive me if you think that my preferences are actually prejudices. Forgive me for retreating into something one can so easily call 'cultural chauvinism'. And I will forgive you for thinking that this person writing this isn't the Alfian that you know, that he has always been moderate and liberal, and I will forgive you if you look at me differently the next time I meet you. For some time already I have felt that as a Malay writer writing in English I have had to carry the burden of articulating so many unvoiced concerns. And the responsibilities associated with this are frightening. I just think it is time I pass on whatever skills I have to other Malay people, so we may tell our stories to those who want to hear them, even though they are stories of loss and loneliness and accidents of birth.
hmmz i donno wat to say lar huhr.. this issue.. has been going on far too long.. but this alfian saat rulez.. shall go find out more about his works... anyways working later.. so shall sleep now.. goodnytez...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)